This is the second post in the Living in the And series, and if you have been following along, you know we started with the weight of it. The arithmetic that never quite works out. The mornings that do not hold. That post was about honesty. This one is about what the and actually makes possible when both callings are allowed to show up fully. If you missed the first post, you can find it here. I am glad you are still on the journey.
The room was already beautiful when I walked in.
White roses on black tablecloths. Quote cards in wooden stands. Branded tote bags at every seat. The kind of care in the setup that tells you immediately this is not a standard professional development session. The ERG leaders had built something before I ever arrived, and I walked into it carrying my workbooks, my slide deck, my handouts, and twenty-five years of accumulated experience that I was about to find out still knew exactly what to do.
I had been invited to lead this workshop by a woman I met through the Women Thrive Summit. We had both spoken there, connected across the virtual space the way you do when you recognize someone doing work that resonates with yours, and eventually she reached out. Her ERG was planning a gathering called Rooted and Rising. They were looking for someone to lead a session. Would I be interested?
I sent a proposal with three options. They chose the one that became Leading From the Inside Out: Strengthening Mindset, Boundaries and Self-Trust. Then came a few months of email exchanges, one planning call, and then June 18th.
This was our first time meeting in person.
I want to hold that detail for a moment because it matters to what this post is actually about. The door to that room opened because of Mission ENSPIRE. Because I had been doing the visibility work, showing up on stages, building a platform, saying yes to rooms that stretched me. But the person who walked through that door and knew what to do once she got inside, that person was built by twenty-five years of nonprofit leadership, facilitation training, and the particular kind of confidence that only comes from having held a lot of rooms over a long time.
Both callings got me there. Neither one could have done it alone.
Before 2020, in-person facilitation was woven into my professional life so regularly I rarely stopped to think about it. The world shifting inside changed that, and a promotion in 2024 shifted it further. I had been back in an in-person room just six weeks earlier. But there is something about walking into a new room, with a new audience, built around work that is entirely yours, that asks you to show up differently. The familiarity of the format and the newness of the moment were both true at the same time.
And still, the body remembers. The instincts came back before I finished my first sentence.
I told the room at the start that I was not there to lecture them. That this was not a session where I would talk at them for an hour while they took notes and waited to leave. We were going to reflect. We were going to write. We were going to share with the woman sitting beside us. I said it because I meant it, and because I have learned over a long career that a room does not open until the people in it believe they are actually safe to be honest. You cannot create that with a slide. You earn it with how you enter.
We started with short introductions, just enough for everyone to hear their own voice in the room. Then we went to work.
The workshop moved through three roots: mindset, boundaries, and self-trust. Not as a list of concepts to memorize but as an invitation to look inward, to ask which one was asking for their attention right now, and to name one practice small enough to actually keep. There were workbook prompts and four full minutes of writing in silence. There were partner shares with specific instructions: listen, do not advise, say thank you, then switch. There was a moment where I asked everyone to hold one of the gardening tools from their tote bag and think about what it means to tend soil before you expect anything to rise from it.
None of that structure came from a facilitation playbook. It came from years of coaching work, from the belief I have carried through Mission ENSPIRE that women already hold more than they give themselves credit for, and that what they need most is not more information but more space to see themselves clearly. That sensibility shaped the design of the entire workshop.
And the facilitation training, the pacing, the silence, the instinct for when to push and when to pull back, gave the coaching content a container strong enough to hold it. One without the other would have produced something thinner. A coaching session without the facilitation structure might have felt unmoored. A facilitation workshop without the coaching underneath would have been information delivery with good activities. What happened in that room on June 18 was neither of those things.
The feedback forms told me what I could not fully see from the front of the room. People named validation. Self-reflection. Being asked to look at themselves. One person wrote that they do not normally do things like this. That is the sentence I keep returning to, because that is exactly what the workshop was designed to do. To take a professional development moment and make it personal. To invite the woman, not just the leader, into the room.
When it was over, I walked to my car and sat with the quiet for a minute.
I felt good. I also felt drained in that particular way that only happens when you have given a room everything you brought with you. It is not the tired of depletion. It is the tired of full effort, the kind that tells you something real happened, that you did not hold back, that the work cost something because it was worth something.
That is what the and produces when both callings are allowed to show up fully. Not a divided self trying to serve two masters. A whole person, drawing from everything she has built, in a room that needed exactly that.
What does it look like when everything you have learned, across every season and every role, shows up at the same time? Have you stopped long enough to let that be something you claim?