“Confidence doesn’t always roar. Sometimes, it whispers, ‘I can do this,’ even when everything feels uncertain.” May invites us into renewal. As spring deepens and the world around us blooms, there’s a gentle but powerful invitation to do the same—to stretch, to grow, to reclaim the energy and belief we may have lost along the way. We’ve all heard it before—believe in yourself. It sounds simple, maybe even cliché. But when life is stretching you, when your confidence feels shaken, or when you’re sitting on the sidelines of your own dreams, that phrase hits differently.
In my last blog post, From Vision to Action, I wrote about the power of clarifying your goals and taking meaningful steps toward them. This month, I want to go deeper—beneath the vision boards and productivity hacks—into the emotional fuel behind it all: self-belief. Self-belief isn’t just motivational language—it’s a powerful mindset that shapes how we show up, speak up, and step forward. And when we’re serious about cultivating confidence and courage, self-belief is where it all begins.
Why Self-Belief Matters More Than You Think
Self-belief isn’t a buzzword. It’s a bedrock. It’s what allows us to show up for our dreams, especially when our knees are shaking. It’s what helps us bounce back from setbacks, silence self-doubt, and say “yes” to purpose and “no” to pressure. Whether you’re pursuing a new credential, launching a business, writing your first blog post, or simply trying to reclaim your energy amid a demanding life—you’re engaging in the radical act of believing in yourself.
Self-belief is more than a positive thought. It’s the quiet conviction that you are capable. It says:
- “My voice matters. My story is still being written.”
- “I may not have it all figured out, but I’ll take the next step anyway.”
- “I’ve failed before, but that doesn’t make me a failure.”
It’s not arrogance or perfection. It’s a rooted belief that your life has value, your growth has purpose, and your future is worth showing up for. But here’s the truth: self-belief doesn’t always come naturally—especially for women who’ve been told to doubt themselves, question their instincts, or play small.
Many of us have internalized a quiet critic that whispers:
- “You’re not ready.”
- “You should wait until it’s perfect.”
- “Who do you think you are to do this?”
And when those thoughts linger, it’s easy to delay dreams, shrink in rooms you were called to stand tall in, or hesitate to pursue your next level.
I know, because I’ve been there too. For me, this lesson hit home for me a few years ago when I recommitted to earning my ICF credential. I didn’t feel completely ready. I was juggling more than usual and battling that all-too-familiar imposter voice whispering, “What if you fail?” But I chose to act anyway. And that decision—to trust that readiness would follow commitment—was transformational. Readiness didn’t come first. Belief did.
Self-Belief is a Skill, Not a Trait
If you’ve been reading Flourishing Fiercely for a while, you know we’ve touched on confidence, courage, perfectionism, micro-habits, and embracing setbacks. But at the core of each of those themes is one essential truth: self-belief is a skill—and it can be cultivated. But first, we need to name what gets in the way.
What Undermines Self-Belief?
Even as a coach, speaker, and trainer, I’ve experienced all the common culprits that erode our confidence:
- Negative self-talk: That voice that replays every mistake and magnifies every flaw.
- Imposter syndrome: The nagging feeling that your success is just luck—and you’re one mistake away from being exposed.
- External doubt: The comments or critiques (sometimes well-meaning) that make you second-guess your worth or direction.
I’ve hesitated before pressing “publish,” wondered whether I was the right voice for the room, or struggled to juggle all the hats I wear— mother, coach, entrepreneur, facilitator, employee. Sound familiar? If so, know this: you’re not alone. And even better—you’re not stuck.
Cultivating an Empowered Mindset: What it Really Takes
So how do we shift from self-doubt to self-belief? From playing small to showing up powerfully? Here’s what I’ve learned—and continue to practice:
- Challenge the Inner Critic with Truth
- Your mind will replay old stories—some from childhood, some shaped by setbacks. But not every thought deserves your agreement. Start noticing when self-doubt shows up. Write it down. Then ask:
- “Is this true, or is this fear?”
- “Is this a fact or a feeling?”
- “What would I say to a friend in this moment?”
- Speak back with truth. Your voice, your experiences, your presence—they matter.
- Your mind will replay old stories—some from childhood, some shaped by setbacks. But not every thought deserves your agreement. Start noticing when self-doubt shows up. Write it down. Then ask:
- Surround Yourself with Courageous Community
- Confidence grows faster in community. When you’re around people who are doing hard things, stepping into purpose, and encouraging others to rise—you start to believe you can too. Whether it’s a trusted friend, a sister circle, a coach, or a group that sees you—don’t underestimate the power of being surrounded by courage. Let people speak life into you. Sometimes we borrow belief from others until we fully claim our own.
- Keep a “Wins” Journal
- Too often, we forget how far we’ve come. We remember the mistakes, but overlook the moments we were brave, consistent, or resilient. Start documenting small wins—times you made a decision, used your voice, completed a hard task, or got back up. Let that journal become proof of your growth. On days when self-belief feels distant, it’s your reminder that you can do hard things.
- Start Before You Feel Ready
- Here’s a hard truth: confidence often comes after the action. Many of us wait to feel 100% sure before we move. But growth happens when we do it scared, speak up unsure, or take the leap while still learning. The more you move, the more you prove to yourself that you’re capable—and that’s how self-belief builds.
- Anchor Yourself in Faith
- For me, prayer is more than a spiritual practice—it’s a grounding reminder that I’m not doing this alone. In moments of fear, uncertainty, or transition, I’ve leaned into prayer not just for peace, but for clarity, strength, and direction. Believing in yourself doesn’t mean relying only on yourself. It’s believing that you’ve been given gifts for a reason—and you’re meant to use them.
- Practice Compassionate Self-Talk
- Start by tuning into how you speak to yourself. Would you say those same words to a loved one? Probably not. Replace harshness with kindness. Here are a few affirmations that have helped me shift my internal dialogue:
- “I am worthy of the space I take up.”
- “My voice, presence, and story matter.”
- “I show up—on purpose, with purpose.”
- These affirmations aren’t fluff. Neuroscience shows us that our thoughts shape our reality. Positive self-talk literally rewires the brain toward resilience and courage.
- Start by tuning into how you speak to yourself. Would you say those same words to a loved one? Probably not. Replace harshness with kindness. Here are a few affirmations that have helped me shift my internal dialogue:
- Reframe Setbacks as Feedback
- Setbacks don’t signal failure. They signal learning. When we shift from “What did I do wrong?” to “What did I learn?” we take back our power. A few year ago, I had a season where everything felt like too much—travel, training, strategy work, and personal commitments collided. I felt overwhelmed, not because I was incapable, but because I hadn’t recalibrated. That awareness didn’t come from shame—it came from reflection. It allowed me to reset with more clarity and grace.
- Protect Your Energy with Intentional Boundaries
- Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about honoring what matters most. Emotional resilience is closely tied to how we manage our time, energy, and attention.
- Ask yourself:
- What am I saying yes to out of obligation?
- Where am I stretching myself too thin?
- What do I need to reclaim my peace?
- Just recently, I said no to a potential opportunity that looked good on paper but didn’t align with my long-term goals. And you know what? The peace I felt afterward confirmed it was the right decision.
You Already Have What It Takes
If you’ve struggled with self-belief, you’re not alone. But the good news? It’s not something you’re either born with or without—it’s something you can cultivate. Self-belief is not something you’re waiting to earn—it’s something you’re choosing to embrace. It lives in your daily thoughts, your intentional choices, and your willingness to keep showing up. Even on hard days. Especially on hard days.
Confidence starts with courage. Courage starts with belief. And belief? It starts with you choosing to try—again and again. So this month, ask yourself:
- Where am I underestimating myself?
- What would shift if I believed I was already equipped?
- Who do I need to become to believe in myself more deeply?
In my blog post later this month, I will explore how to navigate the overwhelm that often stands in the way of clarity and confidence. It will offer practical, real-life strategies for mindfulness and work-life integration, so you can stay grounded and focused while showing up for what matters most.
Until then, I invite you to pause and ask yourself: Where in your life could a little more belief change everything?
Let this be the season you start showing up like you believe your life has purpose—because it does. You don’t have to wait until you “feel ready.” You just have to start.