As we wind down the Flourishing Fiercely July series (after writing about a few “serious” areas for making a fresh start like finances and career, and a few “fun” fresh starts, like style), I thought I’d close by offering some real talk and reassurance about fresh starts–which is that, sometimes, making a fresh start is not easy!  There can be bumps in the road and challenges, sometimes coming from people around us, sometimes from our own self-doubt within.  

Not Everyone Wants to Change and That’s OK

Have you ever struggled with criticism or lack of support from friends or family when you’ve embarked upon a fresh start? Or you’re excited about the new things you’re trying and want to encourage folks who you care about to join you on the same path, but they just aren’t feeling it? 

A by-product of a fresh start is enthusiasm. It’s hard to contain the joy that comes from seeing the fruits of your labor. It is natural to want to share your new skills and the benefits that came from the effort you put in.  That’s totally normal. You may find that your enthusiasm falls flat on others, and that can feel frustrating. Why wouldn’t someone want the solutions to a problem that you had? Why wouldn’t someone want to feel as awesome as you do from making some simple changes?

It’s simple:  Not everyone wants to change, and that’s ok. (OR the change that’s right for you might not be right for them.)  The reality is there are a lot of reasons people don’t change: fear, finances, struggles with determination or confidence, and more.  Look back at your journey and ask yourself why you didn’t take action sooner. Chances are, the people who resist your enthusiasm are stuck in many of the ways you were at one time. Everyone is on their own journey. They are on their own timeline and have to move through their own mindset issues, should they choose to.

Does this mean you can’t share your enthusiasm and joy for the changes you have made? Absolutely not. Here are some things you can do to influence others in a positive way, even when they don’t want to change:

• Simply be your brand new self. People are often influenced by others who are living optimal lives. The “I want what she’s having” model. Simply going about life and living it well can be all the influence you need to inspire someone else.
• Be the teacher when the student is ready. There is a philosophy that the teacher appears when the student is ready. Be willing to teach your tricks, tips, and tell your story with someone who shares interest. There are people everywhere who are ready for change and sometimes those who aren’t just aren’t ready… yet. Be patient and ready if they change their mind.

As you reflect on your road to change, you may realize that there was a time when you weren’t quite there yet. You weren’t ready for change, and pressure to do so would have turned you off. You had to work through your issues and get to the place where you knew your worth and wanted the fresh start more than you wanted to stay the same. Give others the respect you needed and be ok with where they are and ready to support them when they look for their own fresh start.

Acknowledging the Difficult Parts of a Fresh Start

We know change is inevitable and it is sometimes welcome and sometimes thrust on us. A fresh start, whether chosen or imposed, is the beginning of something new. It doesn’t matter if you are volunteering to let go or if things are being pried from your grip, it is important to say goodbye to what you are leaving behind. At some point, what you had and where things settled was exactly what and where you were supposed to be and have. At one point, you may have loved what you had and it might have been exactly what you needed at that time. You may have outgrown it, longed for more, or wanted simple change–and here it is!

When we’re young and starting out, we may not have the ability to decorate the way we might like. As we move into adulthood, we may have more resources but other things can get in the way of creating a personalized space that we love: maybe it’s sticky fingers and scattered toys if we’re parents of small children, or pet hair and “accidents” if we’re puppy-owners; perhaps we need to prioritize spending our money in other areas rather than on our home.  But even if you have some constraints and even if decorating isn’t your passion, it can give us a real mental “boost” to have a space that reflects our taste, personality, and makes us feel at home.

You can take some simple steps to get back into a positive frame of mind if you find yourself overwhelmed and struggling to let go of past habits, possessions, or practices at any time during your “fresh start” journey.

• Step 1. Spend some time thinking about the journey you are on. Recall the past and how you morphed into the you that you are in this moment. Reflect on the good, the bad, and the indifferent things about your current status and see what comes up.
• Step 2. Whether through journaling or some other ritual, set an intention for your fresh start and consider what you need to say goodbye to in order to move forward. Do you need to let go of a habit, relationship, mindset, or physical item to begin anew? There are a number of ways to ceremonially or literally say goodbye.
• Step 3. Allow for the mourning. There is going to be some time where things feel scary, tight, worrisome, and maybe even sad. Allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions and all the subsequent things that go with it. Perhaps you will feel physically ill or want to sleep or get some self care. Acknowledge yourself and plug into the resources that help.
• Step 4. Give yourself an allowable timeline to move through the past and into the future. Set yourself up for success and hold yourself to the new standard you are setting. If you get stuck, reach out to someone for help.
• Step 5. Celebrate your small achievements along the way. It is important to celebrate as you make progress and start to see change. Nothing is too small when you are starting out, and reaching milestones is an important measurement of the fresh start you will be experiencing. From treating yourself to a gift or experience to doing a happy dance, all forms of celebration are important.

Saying goodbye to the past is vital as you make your way into the future towards your fresh start. Take the time to work through the steps and soften the blow that can come from leaving things behind.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog series about fresh starts–and gotten some inspiration to either get you started or keep you going on your fresh start journey.  

Does Your Personal Style Truly Reflect Who You Are?

Do you have a personal style?  If I looked in your closet or around your home, would I get a clear idea of your style? (No judgment if the answers to either of those questions are “no,” “I don’t know” or “hmm…maybe???”  I’m still figuring this one out for myself!) Style is a way of saying who you are without speaking. Style is your outward expression of your inner self. From wearing leopard prints to having a signature haircut, style indicates who you are, what you love, and your self-confidence.  A few common factors that shape our sense of style (or not, if we’re not sure we have one yet!) are insecurity, income, and influences. 

Insecurity kills style before it has a chance to come out. Insecurity looks to others for validation which usually leads to following someone else like sheep.  It can hold you back or make you doubt your style if someone makes a critical comment about your outfit, for example.  Income can also influence your style–though it doesn’t have to! You may think that you can’t express your style until you can afford the bells and whistles that go with it but think again!  If your income is limited, there are lots of style gems to be found in thrift/second-hand stores, both physical stores like your local Goodwill or a mom-and-pop vintage store as well as online second-hand marketplaces like Poshmark, eBay, or ThredUP.  (Even if you have a bigger budget, thrifting is a great option for environmental sustainability or just to find a unique accessory or piece of clothing that you wouldn’t see everyday in a store or online).  Family, friends, peers, or others around us may also influence style.  Sometimes, this can combine in a harmful way with insecurity and self-doubt–but if you love a style, embrace it and let others have their opinions with zero influence on you.

If you aren’t sure what your style is, you might get a few ideas browsing platforms like Instagram, Pinterest, or TikTok. Start noting images that you love and dive deeper into some internet research on what that style might be called and some of its trademark features. Or pick an icon whom you want to emulate and study their style. You can imitate their look or components of it until you become comfortable adding some personalization to make it your own. 

Style can also be as simple or elaborate as you want it to be.  Some people coordinate entire outfits to match a certain style of dress.  Others may stick to simple staples and classics, like black pants paired with a white blouse or black t-shirt, and then add a single “pop” that stands out, like brightly-colored shoes or a bold piece of jewelry. Having a personal style helps say who you are without speaking a word. It’s a great way to proceed yourself and express who you are and what you love

I’ll admit, this is a new area for me. I’ve typically considered myself a pretty “low-maintenance” person, and reflecting on my own personal style takes me a little bit out of my comfort zone.  Funny enough, thanks to my professional experience and my coaching practice, talking and thinking about making big career and personal finance changes is actually much more in my wheelhouse than tackling fashion, decor, and style!  But earlier this year, a session on “Worthiness Within Your Wardrobe” at the Black Woman Leading LIVE summit that I attended really had me thinking about personal style in a different way–and got me excited about making a few fresh starts in my own style and wardrobe.  (And of course, that summit session was about so much more than just clothes; we engaged in some deep reflection about confidence, purpose, and self-love.)

Changing Up Your Home Decor for a Fresh Start

Style isn’t just about what we wear, but how we decorate our environment as well.  Does your home reflect your style and your personality or do you look around your space and feel “blah?”

When we’re young and starting out, we may not have the ability to decorate the way we might like. As we move into adulthood, we may have more resources but other things can get in the way of creating a personalized space that we love: maybe it’s sticky fingers and scattered toys if we’re parents of small children, or pet hair and “accidents” if we’re puppy-owners; perhaps we need to prioritize spending our money in other areas rather than on our home.  But even if you have some constraints and even if decorating isn’t your passion, it can give us a real mental “boost” to have a space that reflects our taste, personality, and makes us feel at home.

Color.  Painting your home in colors that bring you joy can alter your mental health for the better. Are you a warm or cool tone person? Painting your walls in either tone can greatly improve your happiness. (Just remember to look at paint samples on your walls in different lighting at different times of the day, and when choosing a paint color, it’s often also helpful to paint a test swatch on the wall too–colors can look surprisingly different once they’re on your wall compared to how they looked on the little cardboard sample card you picked up at the paint store!)

Textures and fabrics.  Fabrics that are soft and cozy can restore your health and your sense of security. If these textures feel restorative for you, you can try upgrading your bedroom with luxurious sheets, down comforters, plush pillows, and fluffy rugs. The delight to your senses of touch will restore you every time you are unplugged and regenerating for the next day.

Lighting. Lighting affects mood. Having adequate lighting that is soft and pleasant is an important way to refresh yourself. Finding bulbs that cast a soft glow and create a happy mood will help you feel good every time you are home.

Art and furnishings.  Your art should reflect who you are. There is a saying that no one should buy art or fragrance for someone else. These are personal decisions that only you can truly choose, and it doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive or created by a famous artist to reflect your style and add personality to your space.  “Art” can be a vintage poster from a favorite childhood movie, for example, a favorite photo you took that you get printed and framed, or even a child’s art project that has sentimental and personal meaning to you.  From the furniture you sit on to the decorations that adorn your walls and shelves, having pieces that are functional, comfortable, and delight your eye are vital. 

Changing up your home decor to best reflect your personality and taste is an excellent way to refresh and recharge. Being comfortable in your home is the best way to energize yourself to be and do all that is expected of you outside of those walls.

I hope you enjoyed this recap of some fun ways to give yourself a style-related fresh start this summer!  Feel free to share your personal style tips or tricks in the comments!

Change Your Career and Change Your Life

Do you have a role in the workforce? Are you operating from a degree you earned in college, trade school, or a certification program? Have you taken the entrepreneurial route and blazed your own trail, or have you inherited your gig from a family line of business? When did you begin this career? How’s it going so far?

Those are a lot of questions and not usually the sort of thing people ask regularly. Everyone has an origin story of how they started working or doing what they do.  Some of us may have gone after our career path with full intention, while some of us would say that we “fell” into our current job or career unexpectedly or by chance or by a series of coincidences. The biggest question for anyone is: How happy are you in your current career and could changing your career change your life?

In our young adulthood, our career direction may be influenced by parental or adult expectations, geography, and economics.  For some of us, these factors may play a powerful role in what we decide to do. Our parents may have expectations or our culture may dictate that parents have significant authority over our career choices. Relocation may not be an option so a career may be based on what is available in our area. Whether we have the income to get the right degree or certification may determine what line of work we choose.

As we get older, sometimes our influences change and things like benefits, income, and seniority or security become more important to us.  These factors have their own influence on our choices because they often mean stability, access to healthcare, and retirement income. Though we may not have the same interest we once had for the work, the benefits are often outweighing the disadvantages.

If you are in a career that feels tired, old hat, and unfulfilling, it might be time to consider making a change. Sometimes the things we fear losing outweigh the benefits we perceive will come. Sort of how the fear of the unknown is worse than staying in something you know you don’t love, but can predict will be safe. That’s no way to live! Consider these ideas that can help you make a career move:

• Interview someone doing the work you’d like to do and ask for input about what they did to break into that career.  Many times folks who are working at doing the thing you find interesting are open to spending some time chatting or mentoring you. Be bold and ask for a moment of their time.
• Learn a new skill.  Being open to lifelong learning is an important part of reinvention–and learning a new skill doesn’t have to mean going back to a traditional academic setting (though that is certainly one path for those who feel called to pursue a degree or college-based certification).  With free or low-cost resources online through YouTube, Coursera, LinkedIn, or countless other learning portals and websites, there are so many options to learn new skills that can help you prepare for a career change.  Digital “badges” or “micro-credentials” offered by some online trainings can also help validate your newly-earned skill or competency to prospective employers.   
• Consider becoming an entrepreneur. You may not need any formalized training to change your career. You may simply need to step out in faith and begin.  Or if your financial or family responsibilities won’t allow for that level of risk, you may be able to start a side hustle to explore whether your idea has merit and whether it’s something you can see yourself doing full-time someday.  (This is similar to the path I’m on right now–continuing my full-time job but launching and growing my business so that in the long term it can generate the same income and financial stability for me that my job does.)  

If you feel stuck, bored, or like you’ve missed out in your career, it is not too late to change your career and change your life.  (One of my specialties in my coaching practice is helping folks navigate career and life transitions; it’s so gratifying and powerful to see my clients work to get “unstuck” and achieve their goals.)  

How’s Your Health: Four Ways to Give Your Health a Fresh Start

Health is a vital component of life and often a key area where people want a fresh start. “Life happens” and through good times and bad, our health can take a back seat to other things. From eating better, to moving more, to addressing concerns or symptoms you have ignored, it might be a good time to make some changes that will give you the new beginning you need. Check out these simple ways to give your health a new start:

1. Get a checkup. Visiting your physician should be an annual event at the very least. Having a checkup can prevent illness and address any issues as they come up when they are easier to manage. We should all be seeing our primary care physician for an annual exam, but don’t forget these important exams too: vision exam, dental exam, and other exams important at different ages and stages of life.  (If you’re uninsured and have limited income, a Federally Qualified Health Center or similar health clinic may be able to provide preventive care at no cost or on a sliding scale.) 
2. Discover a new way to eat healthy foods.  At any given time, there are food trends designed to get people excited about eating healthier. Trying new foods can be fun, and can help you moderate your fat, salt, or sugar consumption. Browse the internet or the bookstores for enticing new recipes or search YouTube for new cooking shows or videos that spark your interest.  (This is another reason why it’s important to get an annual checkup–a physician or similar trained medical practitioner can help make sure that any changes you’re making to your diet are healthy and safe for your individual health situation.)
3. Read more. Sometimes the first step to better health starts with research. You may not know what you want to do or how to do it until you learn it. Spend time reading a new book, subscribe to a great blog or magazine, and start educating yourself about healthier lifestyle choices. You never know what will spark a reinvention.
4. Find a hobby that encourages movement. Some people resist “working out.” Some of us are afraid of the commitment or the thought of pain and effort. For some of us, maybe we have time constraints or health or mobility conditions that affect our ability to exercise. From sports activities to bird watching, there are unlimited ways to be active that aren’t about lifting weights or running or other “traditional” forms of exercise. Challenge yourself to find a new outdoor (or indoor) hobby that you enjoy and that allows you to fit more movement into your life in whatever way works for you (and again, with guidance from your healthcare practitioner to make sure it’s safe for your own health/physical situation.)

It doesn’t take much to give your health a fresh start. Small changes can start to add up and get you feeling refreshed and renewed about your health. 

Do You Need a Fresh Start Financially?

Money doesn’t buy happiness–but it can buy choices.  Wherever you are with your income and financial situation, there are a few things you can do to make a financial fresh start. Try these simple strategies for reinventing your finances:

• Review your credit reports and score.  You can’t fix what you don’t know is wrong. Run a complete credit report and review it.  Consumers have a right to review their credit report (though not their credit score) from each of the three credit bureaus for free once a year.  Use AnnualCreditReport.com to access your free credit reports.  Look for errors and have someone help you understand the numeric score and any derogatory remarks.  Many banks and credit card companies now also provide a version of the credit score for free to their account holders. It is possible that your report may have errors that can be changed. For any negative remarks, make a plan to fix them as soon as possible.  (The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has some great resources on how to access and understand your credit reports and scores.)
• See a financial counselor, coach, or planner.  Financial counselors and coaches work similarly to help you understand your financial situation, set goals, and make action plans.  However, one distinction is that counseling often focuses on providing information and suggested solutions whereas a coach serves more as an accountability partner in helping you set your own financial goals.  If you have specialized financial needs or questions (such as retirement planning, estate planning, or investment planning) a financial planner might also be a good resource.  There are many different types of professionals operating in this space.  Be sure to do some research to understand what type of financial professional you’re engaging and how their fee structure works.
• Get some money education.  From reading books, to online courses, to other finance professionals, there are multiple ways to better understand money and make new and fresh choices with yours. Get some money education and start making simple changes.  Like the field of financial planners, advisors, counselors, and coaches, this is another area where there is so much content.  Be skeptical of personal finance gurus peddling a fad or promising dazzling returns on investment. The adage “if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is” might be a little cliche, but it’s still often a good rule of thumb. 
• Track your finances.  Whether you use an app or old-school notebook and pen, track your finances. See where you spend your money and analyze any positive and negative patterns. Cut back on trends that take you away from the financial security that you want. Be honest about what matters to you and don’t shame yourself for your spending. Simply review it and see where you can make change and make a difference.

Having a fresh start financially can be liberating and have a domino effect for lots of life changes. Do yourself the favor and do what you can to review and revamp your finances for a better experience.

I’ve often come back to many of these tips during times in my life when I’ve needed a career, health, or financial “reboot” and hope they’re helpful to get you thinking, too! I’ll be back next week to talk about some more aspects of your life that you might not have considered as areas for a fresh start!

Maybe we’re feeling energized by warmer, sunnier weather and longer days.  Maybe realizing that we have six months down and six months to go in the year makes us want to take stock of what we’ve done so far, and what we want to do or change for the second half of the year.  No matter what your age, your career, or your stage in life, anyone can make a fresh start. Finding a new way to do an old thing–or leaving something that is no longer working–is a wonderful way to begin again.

What is a fresh start, anyway?

A fresh start is a do-over or a starting of something new. For whatever reason, sometimes we lose our way.  We forget our dreams, or let them go for a number of reasons. At some point, life opens up opportunities to begin again. To reimagine itself and regenerate. Life wants to be lived to its fullest potential, and it will nudge you again and again until you are reminded of who you’ve always wanted to be and what you’ve always wanted to do.  A fresh start is a clearing of the mind, body, and/or soul, making way for new things. Over the next few weeks, I’ll share some ideas to get you thinking about what it is you’d like to see fresh and new in your life. I’ll focus on brand-new starts in the areas of career, finance, personal style, and health. These subjects are typical areas where life may be stale or not played out as well as you would have liked.  I hope these posts will get you thinking about these areas and I’ll offer specific tips and tactics to reinvent yourself and reclaim the version of yourself you always imagined.

Why might you need a fresh start?

Life may have started out just fine, but somewhere along the way the lemons became more prevalent than the lemonade. Can you relate to any of these scenarios?

• You settled for a career that has been unfulfilling
• You never developed or pursued your personal passions
• You fell into debt and haven’t climbed out
• Your health, energy level, or physical activity isn’t where it once was or where you’d like it to be
• You’re feeling “blah” about your home or your personal style

A fresh start makes it possible for any of these scenarios to turn around. You can have a fulfilling career, or some clothes in your closet that make you feel fabulous or be ready to tackle a fitness challenge like a 5K. There isn’t as much as you may think holding you back. With this month’s blog posts, my goal is to help you see the light at the end of the tunnel and get you racing towards it.

When is it time to think about reinvention and fresh starts?

I often use music to give me energy or help me think and reflect on my life.  (You might remember, I wrote in a couple of prior blog posts about how much fun our group of Black Woman Leading LIVE participants had jamming to Mary J. Blige on our dinner cruise, as well as the powerful song that Black Woman Leading founder Laura Knights played to close out the conference.)  As I tackled this topic of fresh starts and reinvention, I thought about another favorite song of mine, the Nina Simone classic “Feeling Good.”  I love the mood it evokes:  easy, laid-back, joyful, like a warm leisurely summer day in the sun.     

Of course, not every day or every moment of our lives can feel like that.  Some days we’ll feel stressed, busy, anxious, sad, annoyed, or overwhelmed–and that’s OK too! I try to ground myself in that feeling that Nina Simone’s lyrics create and remember that I’ll find my way back there soon, even if I’m having a bad day or week. But if you’ve lost that elemental sense of joy in your life completely, it may be time to think about reinvention. Reinvention isn’t something to feel guilty about or set you into a depression. Reinvention is the letting go of what isn’t working and saying hello to every option in the universe.

Reinvention doesn’t require changing the things you love; it calls for changing whatever no longer suits you or beginning new things that better express who you are now.  

It’s time to think about reinvention when:

• Your heart has a longing for something new and specific
• You know that you need to start or stop a behavior for your own good
• Your life shifts through divorce, empty nest, lay-off, health issue, etc.
• You find a renewed determination towards a purpose

No matter the reason that sparks your reinvention, the key is to embrace that urge and get started towards the changes you want. You deserve all good things, and nothing has to stay the same. You can make dramatic changes in your life without threatening the most important things:  family, friendships, and community.

Top areas of life to make a fresh start

Have you felt the urge to make a fresh start? It’s perfectly normal to want something more or something different from our lives.  Often, our fresh starts happen in areas like career, style, finances or health, but a fresh start is what you make it–you can reinvent yourself in any area that you choose!

Our lives are so different than they were a few generations ago. There was a time when people rarely left their hometown in their lifetime. There was no internet to explore anything and everything. It took considerable effort to investigate and explore anything of interest. People simply didn’t know how much was available to them.

Not only that, people were mostly influenced by those in fairly close proximity. There was a sameness that developed because there wasn’t much exposure to other cultures, communities, or spheres of influence.  Social media is an excellent example of how influences can spark the desire for reinvention. A simple LinkedIn post, Instagram reel, or Tik Tok video can give you fresh ideas and ignite a new passion in any area of life. Something you never knew was an option that can change your career, personal style, your finances, or your health.

Today, we are able to sit at a computer and witness all the bounty that our lives could be enjoying. We are able to see and experiment at unprecedented levels. We don’t have to have a formal education to learn something new, and as entrepreneurs, there is no limit to what we can do for a career. We can explore all sorts of style – fashion, architecture, home decor, and more. The options are limitless. We can easily be taught how to manage our careers, our income, and maximize our health.  

Have you felt the nudge to make a change in a certain area of your life? Do you want to start or stop something? Learn a new or better way to be on the Earth? Consider exploring a change in your life and see what doors open, close, or break free.  In the coming weeks, I’ll dive a bit deeper into ways you can use this summer season to think about what fresh start you’d like to make and how you can make it happen.