Being Thankful During Hard Times

Practicing daily gratitude can help you to develop a more positive mindset. This in turn helps you to identify solutions to any problems you might be facing. It’s easy to be thankful when things are going great. However, it becomes much more of a challenge when you are going through tough times. If you are struggling to feel thankful right now, there are some great tips you can follow:

• Start a gratitude list. One of the best ways to build up a more grateful mindset is to start a gratitude list. Each day, write down 3-5 things that you are grateful for. It could be something great that happened that day, or something you are looking forward to. If nothing good has happened, list the basics. It could be that you are grateful to have a roof over your head, or food on the table. You may need to dig deep some days to find something you are grateful for.
• Utilize the pay it forward movement. Often, we feel a lot more grateful in life when we take the time to help others. The pay it forward movement is a great way to develop gratitude during difficult times. “Pay it forward means” to do something small for someone. They then do something small for other people, and the cycle continues. When we do something nice for someone, it automatically makes us feel happier. It also shows you that there are other people going through a tough time. By doing something nice for others, it will help you to feel more grateful about your own life.
• Practice kindness. Practicing kindness is another way to be thankful during tough times. When we do nice things for others, it makes us feel better about ourselves. It also helps to show us that there are people worse off than we are. Look for local charities you could support or do something nice for a neighbor. The more kindness you practice, the more thankful and happier you’ll become.

Why Gratitude is So Hard

If you find it hard to show or feel gratitude, you certainly aren’t alone! While it may produce a ton of benefits, gratitude isn’t something that comes naturally to most people. There are several reasons why some people find gratitude harder than others. One of the things that can make gratitude feel hard is that it can take time to really internalize the benefits of gratitude. When you start practicing gratitude, you aren’t necessarily going to experience instant results. In fact, it can take a couple of weeks to start seeing the benefits of your daily gratitude practice. Many people simply give up due to failing to see results early on. So, you are going to need to push through and trust that results are coming.

Another potential obstacle to gratitude is time constraints. You may feel you don’t have the time to dedicate to being more thankful. However, did you know it can take as little as 10-15 minutes each day to build up a more grateful mindset? These are some of the main reasons why gratitude is so hard for some people. If you are struggling, it could be down to things that aren’t within your control. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t work on building up your gratitude muscle. There are lots of ways you can become more grateful and incorporate gratitude into your life. 

How to Be More Grateful

You don’t need to have a natural affinity for gratitude. There are lots of ways you can develop a more grateful mindset if it doesn’t come naturally to you.  As we are all different, you’ll find what works for someone else may not work for you. To get you started on your gratitude journey, let’s look at some of the most effective tips you can follow…

• Add gratitude to your daily routine. If you want to reap the benefits of gratitude, you are going to need to add it into your daily life. That means fitting it into your daily routine. Many people prefer to practice gratitude first thing in the morning. When you are enjoying your cup of coffee, grab your journal and write a list of the things you are grateful for. Alternatively, you can also do this last thing at night before you go to bed.  When you add gratitude into your daily routine, it soon becomes a habit just like brushing your teeth.
• Embrace challenges and tough times. It is more difficult to practice gratitude when you are going through a tough time. However, pushing through and focusing on the things you are grateful for can help you to better deal with difficult situations. A good tip is to embrace the challenges and tough times. Look at what the situation is teaching you and any positive things you can take from it. In some situations, such as losing a loved one, showing gratitude is particularly tough. However, you can focus on how they would want you to feel. Would your lost loved one want you feeling constantly sad or would they want you to live life as best you can? Embracing challenges isn’t always easy. I lost my mother in 2014 and that was a particularly tough time for me to practice gratitude but as those moments of sadness come to the surface I remember to be grateful for the time that I did have with my mother, I remember to be grateful that I had a mother and that she was a positive influence in my life and that my daughters had their grandmother in their life. 
• Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness has become one of the most important tools for gratitude. Whether you prefer meditation, journaling, yoga, prayer, or another type of reflection-oriented mental or physical practice, it can help you to develop a more grateful mindset. Nothing can beat the relaxing feeling you get from practicing mindfulness on a daily basis. When the mind is calm and relaxed, you will find it much easier to become a more thankful person.
• Be thankful for the small things. You don’t have to wait for big events to be thankful. Practicing gratitude means being grateful for everything in your life, including the small things. So, when you are writing your gratitude list, don’t forget to include the small stuff such as you got out of bed in the morning, or you managed to smile during a difficult time.  When you start to focus on the small things you are grateful for, your brain will start to look for the positive in everything.
• Express your gratitude to others. Gratitude isn’t just about you. To develop a more grateful mindset, you need to express your gratitude to others too. Remind the people you love why they are important to you. Write a letter to somebody who helped you and show appreciation when something is done for you. When you express gratitude to other people, it helps to make them feel appreciated, strengthening your relationships.  

How to Feel Gratitude Without Feeling Guilty

One of the main issues many people have with gratitude is the guilt that can come with it. You may find it hard to enjoy a sense of gratitude if you know somebody else is going through a tough time. Or perhaps you have lost somebody close to you and it feels wrong to feel grateful or happy. If you are struggling to feel gratitude without feeling guilty, here you’ll discover some good tips to follow… 

• Remember that you are worthy.  If your guilt comes from feeling like you don’t deserve happiness, it may be helpful for you to work on your mindset. It is important to remember that like everyone else, you are worthy of happiness. When you feel guilty for being happy, it could point to low self-esteem. By working on how you feel about yourself, you will start to realize that gratitude isn’t selfish. It is a necessity for living a happy, healthy life. You are worthy, and you need to consistently remind yourself of that.
• Accept you cannot change someone else’s situation.  If you know somebody going through a difficult time, counting your blessings may feel wrong. However, this just shows how much empathy you have. The truth is you cannot always change somebody else’s situation. The reason they are going through tough times is down to the decisions and circumstances of their own life. Just because somebody you know is going through a tough time, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be happy. In fact, by practicing gratitude, it can help you to be a better source of support. You will be able to identify opportunities and solutions easier than they can.
• Giving gratitude isn’t just about you.  A common reason you may feel guilty about practicing gratitude is because you feel it’s selfish. Focusing on all of the things that you have can feel materialistic and even narcissistic in some cases. However, the truth is real gratitude isn’t about you. When you practice gratitude, it helps those around you too. You become a more positive, happier person to be around. You also express gratitude to others, helping them to feel more appreciated.  Adding daily gratitude to your life isn’t selfish. It is a great tool for strengthening relationships and making others feel good too.
• Write a gratitude letter.  Following on from the last point, if gratitude feels selfish to you, focus it onto somebody else. Writing a gratitude letter can help you to feel more positive. You’ll feel good that you are making somebody else feel happier. Think about how you would feel if you received a gratitude letter from somebody. By showing others how thankful you are, you’ll feel much less guilty about adding gratitude to your daily life.

Gratitude and guilt do often go hand in hand. However, you’ll find over time that guilt will fade. This is especially true if you focus on the tips above.

As I was putting this blog post together, it really called to mind a time in my life when I struggled with gratitude, for many of the reasons that I wrote about above.  Back when my daughters were in middle school, I was working full-time (and traveling frequently for work), going to school, and trying to parent as a single mom to the best of my abilities.  It was often overwhelming and felt like a daily struggle–but prayer and keeping a gratitude journal (even if I wasn’t able to write in it every day) were so helpful to guiding me through those tough times. I’ll be honest, it wasn’t always easy and there were days when writing in my gratitude journal didn’t magically or instantly make me feel better.  But I kept at it, and overall, these practices improved my outlook and carried me through one of the more stressful periods of my life. What gratitude practices keep you going in difficult times? Feel free to share in the comments, and you just may inspire someone else who’s facing similar difficulties to find strength in gratitude!     

• The Mental Benefits Of Gratitude. Practicing gratitude helps your overall mental health because you instantly have a better outlook on life. Don’t be surprised to walk away from your latest gratitude meditation with a big smile on your face. Of course, the benefits don’t stop at increased happiness. Feeling more gratitude has been linked to a better self-image, less anxiety and even a reduction of depression. This comes as no surprise to scientists who have recorded increased levels of dopamine and serotonin after intentional gratitude meditations.
• The Physical Benefits Of Gratitude. This is where it gets interesting. It’s one thing to feel better emotionally, but the release of these “feel-good” hormones affects your physical body as well. Gratitude reduces stress and with it, you’re sleeping better, your blood pressure lowers, and you have more energy. As a result, you move more, leading to even better overall physical health. Maybe your gratitude exercise motivates you to go out for a walk, getting more oxygen into your body and loading up on Vitamin D. Being able to sleep soundly reduces appetite and less stress helps you make smarter food choices. All these things work hand in hand to turn you into a healthier and stronger version of yourself.

How can you tap into both the mental and physical benefits of gratitude? By feeling more of it. Of course, that’s easier said than done. A great place to start is by creating a habit of thinking of at least one person or one thing you are deeply grateful for each morning as soon as you wake up. It sets the tone for the whole day and gets you off to a great start to reap these powerful benefits.

Forgiveness-What’s Holding You Back

The more you read and learn about the power of gratitude on both body and mind, the more amazed you will be about how much it can do for you. Think back on the last time you held a grudge. What did that feel like? Did you have a pit in your stomach? Did you have trouble sleeping? Were you distracted from other, more important things? What did you lose because you chose to stay angry at the other person?

But here’s the kicker: the person you’re holding the grudge against might not even know it, or they might not even remember what they did. They are not suffering because you’re upset. You are. You’re holding on to all that negativity and over time, that can contribute to stress and erode your well-being.  Don’t let holding a grudge make you sick. Instead, focus on forgiveness and gratitude. Take a deep breath and find it in your heart to forgive the other person. It’s not easy, but it is within your power.

And if you’re struggling to forgive a toxic person or a harmful thing that someone said or did, remember–forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you need to let them back into your life, or put yourself back in a situation that allows them to hurt you again. It’s OK to forgive but still draw healthy boundaries for yourself. Forgiveness is actually less about the other person’s actions and more about you. Do it for yourself because you know you will instantly feel better and it will do wonders for your mental health and state of mind. 

But What If You’re Stuck in Negativity?

Practicing gratitude and focusing on positivity is easier said than done. Especially if you are struggling with anxiety and depression; if you ever find yourself spiraling into the deep pit of depression then get help if you need it.  There’s nothing wrong with talking to a counselor or getting therapy. It’s the smart thing to do. 

When things aren’t quite that bad, there’s a lot you can do to get yourself unstuck from all that negativity. Start by acknowledging the negative feelings that are coming up and putting them into words. How exactly do you feel? Is it anger or annoyance? Frustration or disappointment? Try to be specific. Dig deep. Yes, it can be painful and some people prefer to avoid thinking about these feelings, but the first step to getting yourself unstuck is determining exactly where you are emotionally.

Once you’ve identified the feeling, you can start to work on discovering what caused them. Sometimes the answer is obvious. Other times, not so much. In either case, I encourage you to dig deep because often the obvious answer isn’t the real root cause. Yes, you may be mad at your spouse for running up the credit card bill, but if you dig deep, you may discover that there are some underlying core values that don’t align between the two of you. Once you find the true reason for your negative feelings, you can start to work to resolve them. What that looks like will vary from case to case. The important takeaway here is that it gives you something specific and meaningful to do. You no longer feel out of control or helpless. It’s something you can work with and that alone will help you think more positively

In addition, it allows you to distance yourself a little from the negative feelings. You may still be upset with your spouse, but it also gives you the space to remember everything you love about them. It gives you the space to act outside of the negativity and have a good relationship while you work things out. And sometimes, it may give you the mental space you need to realize that it is up to you to decide if you want to continue to dwell in the negativity, or choose a route of forgiveness. You can’t change everything or everyone. Sometimes your path toward positivity is to acknowledge your negative feelings and then let them go.

Of course all of this is easier said than done. A journal can be a great tool to help you along the way. Try talking to a close friend or confidant when you feel stuck and you can’t see a path towards positivity. An outside perspective can give a lot of clarity. Meditation can be helpful as well. Last but not least, surround yourself with positivity.  Get outside and enjoy nature. Spend some time helping others. And don’t forget to remind yourself regularly of everything you have to be grateful for.

Turning Gratitude Outward – Sharing With The World

Practicing gratitude regularly has a big impact on your life, your health, and your mental and emotional wellbeing. But it doesn’t end there. It will also have a big impact on those around you and the world at large when you start to turn your gratitude outwards and share it far and wide. What if, instead of simply practicing gratitude for yourself, you take it out to the world at large? What could happen? What force of good could you create? There is no telling how many lives you could influence for the better. Let’s take a look at how you, I, and everyone else reading this can start to turn their gratitude outward and share it with those around them.

• Random Acts of Kindness. Do something kind for a stranger. This can be something as simple as giving an open and honest smile to a stranger on the street or a few kind words and a compliment for the cashier ringing up your groceries. Or it could be taking a meal to an elderly neighbor or buying a drink for the person behind you in the coffee shop drive-thru line. Make it a goal to do something kind for someone each day and do it intentionally.
• Respect And Thank Those Who Serve You. There are so many people in our communities that serve us from first responders to the server at your favorite restaurant. Make it a point to be respectful and thank them with words, with actions, and in the case of service staff perhaps with a generous tip. Show them how grateful you are for everything they do to make your life easier. 
• Volunteer In Your Community. What better way to show your gratitude than to give your time and your skills? There are many opportunities for anyone to volunteer in various projects and for a variety of different causes. See what’s available around you and make an effort to put in some time to volunteer each month. Not only is it a wonderful way to give back and spread gratitude, but you’ll be amazed at how much you get out of it.

Finally, I want to close by adding that I’m grateful for the grace that you, my regular readers, have given me for getting a little off track on my weekly posting schedule in October! It was an especially intense month of work, work travel, and of course, keeping my business going, and a couple of blog posts fell by the wayside. I’ll be taking a break from posting again during the week of Thanksgiving, but until then I’m excited to get back to my weekly schedule and hope you find some tips and insights in this month’s posts to help keep you centered and energized as we head into a busy holiday season and the last two months of the year!