The Power of Vision

Great accomplishments begin with great clarity. Vision is the spark that lights the path to our goals, giving us direction and focus. Without it, we risk wandering through our days without a sense of purpose or fulfillment. When I launched this blog early in 2023, it wasn’t just about creating content—it was about connecting with you, my readers, and sharing tools to inspire both personal and professional growth. That vision of helping others achieve their goals kept me motivated even when balancing a full-time job with my entrepreneurial ambitions felt overwhelming. What drives me is knowing that every post, every interaction with you, contributes to a larger vision of empowerment and growth for you my readers. It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day, but taking time to clarify your vision can help guide you when the road gets tough. A vision gives you purpose, even when the path is unclear.

Tips for creating your vision:

1. Write it down: Spend time journaling about your dreams for 2025. What do you want to achieve? What will be the most fulfilling for you? This act of writing solidifies your commitment to the future.
2. Visualize daily: Create a vision board or use digital tools to keep your goals visible. Visualizing your success every day reminds you why your vision is worth pursuing. For me, creating visual reminders has been a powerful tool to keep my focus sharp.
3. Align with values: Your vision should reflect your core values. For example, my business is rooted in helping women prioritize their growth. When your goals align with what matters most to you, it’s easier to stay committed.

When you anchor your goals in a clear vision, it’s like having a North Star guiding you through each decision and challenge.

Preparing for Change

If there’s one constant in life, it’s change. And as uncomfortable as it can sometimes feel, embracing change is essential for growth. Whether it’s new career opportunities or unexpected setbacks, change is the gateway to transformation. Looking at 2024, I’ve been humbled by some of the opportunities that came my way—like the chance to facilitate training at the National FOC Convening in Mesa and learn from an incredible network of leaders in the field. I also had the unexpected thrill of riding in a driverless car, which seemed like a metaphor for how we can learn to embrace the future, even when it feels unfamiliar. This experience taught me that adaptability isn’t just about responding to external circumstances—it’s also about cultivating an openness to new possibilities. Reflecting on my own journey, I realized that change often comes disguised as discomfort. In the moments when I felt uncertain—whether about my business, my goals, or my own abilities—were often the moments when the most growth happened.

Strategies to build resilience and embrace change:

• Set micro-goals: Instead of tackling massive changes all at once, break them into smaller, manageable steps. Small wins build momentum and confidence.
• Reflect and adjust: Regularly check in on your progress. Ask yourself: What’s working? What isn’t? In 2024, I had to adjust my approach to podcasting and focus on the areas where I could give my best effort. Don’t be afraid to pivot.
• Practice gratitude: Focusing on what you have instead of what you lack can shift your mindset. When challenges arise, embrace them as opportunities for growth and learning.

By preparing for change and staying flexible, we allow ourselves to grow in unexpected ways, even when the road ahead isn’t perfectly clear.

Taking Intentional Action

A vision is only as powerful as the action it inspires. The most successful goals are those that are rooted in intentional action—where each step we take aligns with our values and aspirations. For me, intentional action often means breaking down my big ideas into manageable tasks. Whether it’s launching a new product or hosting workshops, I’ve learned that progress isn’t about waiting for the perfect moment—it’s about taking that first imperfect step and building momentum from there.

In my own journey, I’ve found that tools like my Monthly Planning Journal have been essential for staying organized and focused on my long-term goals. When I first launched the Momentum Mastermind Set—a business tool bundle to help people prioritize their goals and track their success—it was a leap of faith, but the planning I put into it made the leap easier to manage.

Tools to support intentional action:

• Plan with purpose: Use journals or planners to map out your monthly objectives and track progress. I’ve used my own tools to break down larger projects into weekly and daily action steps.
• Set accountability measures: In 2024, I leaned heavily on peers and mentors to keep me grounded and focused on my entrepreneurial growth. Having a trusted support network has been crucial.
• Celebrate small wins: Progress, no matter how small, deserves recognition. This mindset has been crucial in maintaining momentum, even during setbacks.

Action, no matter how small, creates momentum. When you commit to showing up consistently, you’ll be amazed at the progress you can make.

Embracing Community and Support

No journey is meant to be traveled alone. One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in 2024 is the importance of community and the power of shared growth and support. Over the past year, I’ve experienced firsthand the power of connections—whether it’s reconnecting with my classmates at my high school reunion, meeting colleagues at the LISC Midwest Office Retreat, or attending the Congressional Black Caucus Annual Legislative Conference. These connections have given me new perspectives, support, and inspiration, making my journey feel less isolated and much more collaborative.

Ways to foster connections in 2025:

• Attend events: Join workshops or conferences that align with your interests. For example, my participation in the Voices of Color Summit has been both a humbling and energizing experience.
• Seek mentorship: Learning from those further along the path can fast-track your growth. Mentors have been invaluable in helping me refine my goals.
• Be a resource: Building community starts with offering your own support and expertise. By serving others, you create a foundation of mutual respect and collaboration.

Community fuels growth, offering strength and perspective when we need it most. It’s about knowing that you don’t have to do everything on your own.

Conclusion: A Bold Call to Action

2025 is a blank canvas, brimming with possibility. The way you choose to fill it is entirely up to you. Let this be the year you dream bigger, embrace change with courage, and take intentional steps toward your vision. The future isn’t something to wait for—it’s something to create.

As this is my final post of the year, I want to take a moment to express my gratitude for being part of this journey with me. 2024 has been a year of growth, and I’m excited to see what 2025 holds for all of us. I’ll be back with my first post of the year in mid-January, where we’ll dive into new strategies and insights to start the year strong.

So, I’ll leave you with this: What is one bold action you will take to prepare for 2025? Share your thoughts in the comments, and let’s hold each other accountable for making 2025 our best year yet.

The good news? You don’t have to figure it all out alone. By tapping into proven strategies for community cultivation and surrounding yourself with other visionary leaders, you can lay the foundations for an unstoppable tribe that will change the trajectory of your life and your legacy forever. So, get ready, because this is your official invitation to step into the transformative power of community building. It’s time to ditch the struggle of going it alone and start amplifying your impact through the magic of collaboration, connection, and co-creation. Your tribe is waiting – all you have to do is take that first courageous step.

But first, a quick poll: how many of you have ever found yourselves feeling isolated, stuck in your own head, or held back by those pesky self-limiting beliefs? (Go ahead, raise those virtual hands high!) It’s a struggle we’ve all faced at one point or another, my friends. The good news? You don’t have to go it alone. Enter: the power of community.

The Power of Community

Now, when I say “community,” I’m not just talking about a casual group of acquaintances or a smattering of social media followers. No, no, no – I’m referring to those rare, beautiful ecosystems of people who genuinely see you, support you, and propel you toward your highest potential. These are the communities that become your fiercest cheerleaders, your most trusted advisors, and your infinite well of inspiration. They’re the ones who remind you of your worth when you’re feeling small, who push you to take calculated risks, and who celebrate your wins with the same enthusiasm they’d show for their own.

And here’s the kicker: building and nurturing these communities isn’t just a nice-to-have – it’s an absolute game-changer for anyone looking to cultivate sustainable growth, both personally and professionally. Think about it: as an entrepreneur or creative, having a strong support system can be the difference between giving up at the first roadblock or pushing through to manifest your wildest dreams. It’s the secret sauce that helps you stay motivated, accountable, and focused on your “why” even when the going gets tough.

But community building isn’t just for the entrepreneurial set, my friends. Whether you’re navigating a career transition, embarking on a personal transformation journey, or simply seeking to deepen your connections with kindred spirits, the power of community is undeniable. And that’s where leadership comes into play.

Become a Visionary Leader

You see, truly impactful communities don’t just happen by chance – they’re carefully cultivated and nurtured by visionary leaders who understand the value of shared knowledge, authentic connection, and collective growth. These leaders aren’t just figureheads or talking heads; they’re facilitators, catalysts, and champions of their communities. They create safe spaces for vulnerability and open dialogue, foster an environment of mutual respect and trust, and consistently show up as their authentic selves.

But perhaps most importantly, these leaders embody the principles of personal growth and continuous learning. They’re the first to admit that they don’t have all the answers, but they’re endlessly committed to evolving, adapting, and sharing their hard-won wisdom with their communities. It’s this beautiful cycle of giving and receiving, of collective problem-solving and co-creation, that truly sets transformative communities apart. So, how can you tap into this magical world of community building, personal growth, and effective leadership? Well, my friends, I’m so glad you asked!

First, let me introduce you to a game-changing resource: The Entrepreneurs’ Toolkit for Success. This comprehensive guide is like having a group of seasoned mentors by your side, walking you through the ins and outs of building a thriving entrepreneurial community and support network. From cultivating meaningful connections to leveraging the power of accountability, this toolkit has got you covered. But that’s not all! For those of you feeling held back by those pesky self-limiting beliefs (and let’s be honest, who isn’t?), the Your Own Worst Enemy Bundle is an absolute must-have. This powerful collection of resources is designed to help you identify and overcome the internal roadblocks that have been holding you back from reaching your full potential. Through a potent combination of mindset shifts, practical exercises, and inspiring real-life examples, this bundle will equip you with the tools to cultivate unwavering self-belief, resilience, and a growth mindset that knows no bounds.

As you can see, the power of community is truly a force to be reckoned with. By surrounding yourself with a tribe of visionary leaders and kindred spirits, you unlock a wellspring of support, inspiration, and collective growth that can catapult you toward your biggest dreams.

While we are talking about ‘power of community’, I recently had the honor of being featured on the ‘Trailblazin’ Bosses Podcast’ with host Veranda Adkins. In this episode, Veranda and I dive deep into my experience as a community development leader, bestselling author, and certified coach. With over two decades of expertise in team leadership and community support, I share my techniques for empowering individuals and organizations to reach new heights. Go check it out and tell me what you think!

If you’re ready to stop going it alone and start amplifying your impact through the magic of collaboration and connection, I encourage you to check out the resources I’ve shared. From the Entrepreneurs’ Toolkit for Success to the Your Own Worst Enemy Bundle, these powerful tools will equip you with everything you need to build your tribe and cultivate unstoppable growth.  So, what are you waiting for? Take that first courageous step and watch as your community transforms your life and legacy forever. The tribe is waiting!

Let’s quickly recap the themes we explored over the past few weeks. We delved into the transformative power of gratitude and self-care, uncovering how these twin practices can cultivate resilience, joy, and a deep appreciation for life’s beauty. We also examined proven goal-setting strategies, equipping ourselves with the tools to dream big and chart a course towards our aspirations. Finally, we celebrated the power of community-building, recognizing the profound impact of surrounding ourselves with a supportive network of like-minded individuals.

And remember, next month is National Recommitment Month, so let’s carry the momentum of these powerful lessons forward. As we prepare to recommit to our goals, values, and overall well-being, we’ll draw inspiration from the wisdom we’ve gained, using gratitude, self-care, goal-setting, and community as the foundational pillars for a life lived with intention and purpose. Share your takeaways from this month’s series in the comments below. 

Looking back on this past year with the Flourishing Fiercely blog, it’s like witnessing a beautiful transformation. It’s been a journey of shared growth, learning, and community-building that unfolded in ways I couldn’t have predicted. Remember that first post I hit “publish” on, back on National “I am in Control” Day? My mission was crystal clear: to empower you, my readers, to embrace your full potential and live your authentic self. Yet, what I hadn’t anticipated was the profound transformation this experience would start within me too.

The Goal-Setting & Mindset Game changer

Over the past year, we’ve dived deep into all areas of personal and professional growth, drawing on my experience as a coach. But one theme has consistently stood out: the transformative power of intentional goal-setting. I’ve always known the importance of setting clear objectives and creating action plans in my coaching practice. However, this year, I took things a step further. I set specific goals for this blog using tools like the 90 Day Business Goal Journal. This experience truly solidified my belief in the power of intentional goal-setting.

There’s something incredibly motivating about taking your ideas and turning them into concrete, achievable targets. It gives them a sense of weight and purpose, and it pushes you to commit to making them happen. Of course, setting goals is just the first step. The true test lies in taking action and persevering through the inevitable challenges and setbacks that arise on the path to achievement. This is where cultivating a positive mindset becomes crucial. Resources like the Embracing a Positive Mindset Workbook proved invaluable for me. It equipped me with the tools to build mental fortitude, unwavering self-belief, and a solutions-oriented perspective. This shift in mindset allowed me to see obstacles not as roadblocks, but as opportunities to learn, adapt, and ultimately grow.

Learning from You

When it comes to invaluable lessons, I have to give credit where credit is due – to you, my incredible readers. Your impassioned insights, thought-provoking comments, and beautifully vulnerable personal stories have truly enriched our discussions. And I have to say, it’s been an absolute pleasure to learn and grow alongside you. Throughout our dialogue, your reflections have struck a chord with me. I’ve seen glimpses of my own struggles reflected in your candid thoughts – the self-doubt, the fear of failure, and that constant battle between where we are and where we want to be. It’s a reminder that we’re not alone in these challenges.

But it’s not just the struggles that resonate with me. Your stories of triumph over adversity have been truly inspiring. They’ve served as powerful reminders of the strength and resilience that resides within each of us. And let me tell you, they’ve given me all the motivation I need to keep pushing forward.

So, as we continue on this journey together, let’s remember the common threads that bind us. Let’s keep sharing our experiences, our triumphs, and even our setbacks. Because through it all, we’ll find the support, inspiration, and encouragement we need to persevere. Thank you for being a part of this incredible community. I can’t wait to see what we’ll accomplish together.

The Heartbeat of a Community

It’s this extraordinary community of connection and shared humanity that has become one of the greatest gifts of this entire journey. Knowing that my words have resonated with even one person, empowered them to take action, or offered a moment of solace fills me with immense gratitude. It’s a powerful reminder that our experiences, although unique, often echo universal themes.

Your vulnerability in opening your hearts to me has been deeply humbling. It’s a testament to the power of this community and a beautiful expression of our shared need for authentic understanding. Your stories have enriched my perspective and fueled my passion to keep creating content that resonates and uplifts.

As I revisited our past series – from deconstructing the intricacies of goal-setting and recalibrating our lives, to plumbing the nuanced territories of self-awareness and cultivating positive influence, to exploring paradigm-shifting concepts like discipline, gratitude, and a growth mindset – I was struck by just how multifaceted and nonlinear the road to personal growth can be. My own development has been an ever-evolving confluence of hard-won lessons, ingrained habits, and mindsets, and a continual practice of remaining open to expansive new perspectives.

The Beauty of Reinvention

One series that captured this beautifully was our summer exploration of reinvention and self-care. These posts were poignant reminders that we all possess an incredible capacity for rejuvenation and course-correction, simply by intentionally pausing, taking stock of our realities, and realigning our trajectories through bold new beginnings or subtle recalibrations. They also spotlighted the indispensable role that prioritizing holistic self-care plays in sustaining our vitality, spark, and resilience for the longest of journeys.

The natural unfolding into fall brought themes of self-improvement, disciplined habit formation, and the transformative power of lifelong learning. We delved into strategies for thoughtfully reflecting on our strengths, establishing fortifying routines, and adopting both an abundance mindset and a voracious intellectual curiosity. These conversations paved the way to an appreciation for radical self-acceptance, looking inward to identify our authentic motivations, and the exponential potential of incremental daily actions – lessons that will undoubtedly serve us well as we charge forward into 2024.

The Best is Yet to Come…

In the year to come, I’m thrilled to be guiding our exploration towards cultivating the mindsets, strategies, and support structures that will allow us to approach our loftiest goals with confidence, purpose, and sustainability.  We’ll be delving into topics like purposefully garnering uplifting sources of encouragement, rooting ourselves in self-acceptance, and harnessing the remarkable power of incremental “micro-habits” to spark seismic shifts. Because as my own experiences have shown, metamorphosis is a richly nonlinear, cumulative process – an ever-unfolding journey of committed self-work, radical self-compassion, and courageous expansiveness. 

This blog has become a journey we share together. It’s a mix of inspiring stories, personal growth experiences, and hard-earned wisdom. You’ve all contributed to this tapestry by sharing your own struggles, triumphs, and incredible acts of courage. As I move into my second year of blogging, I want to thank you for being so involved, open, and believing in our journey of growth. You’re the heart of this blog! I truly hope the Flourishing Fiercely community remains a source of motivation, support, and personal transformation for all of us.

This month, we’ll be taking a deep dive into the reflections and lessons I’ve gained from my first incredible year of blogging. We’ll explore the transformative power of gratitude and self-care, unpack the key insights I’ve learned about effective goal-setting, and celebrate the vital role that our thriving community has played in fueling my own personal and professional growth. I’m excited to share these stories of transformation with you – the triumphs, the challenges, and everything in between. Because at the end of the day, this journey belongs to all of us. Together, we’re uncovering the path to becoming our fullest, most flourishing selves. So, get ready for an April filled with inspiration, vulnerability, and a healthy dose of celebration. I can’t wait to see how each of you continues to thrive in the year ahead!

Mindset Matters

Black Woman Leading Coach Felicia Tate kicked off the morning with a session called “Mindset Matters: Embracing Growth over Perfection.”  “Mindset” is a set of beliefs that shape how you make sense of the world and yourself.  Mindset influences how you think, feel and behave in any given situation.  Your mindset impacts your success or failure.  Felicia shared the importance of flexibility to a growth mindset (“flexible people aren’t bent out of shape”) and emphasized that sometimes when we’re confronting our fears and working toward a growth mindset, this journey can get worse before it gets better, or get harder before it gets easier.  She asked the audience to reflect on these questions:

• What is currently holding me back from embracing growth over perfection?
• What do I need to release in order for me to fully embrace a growth mindset?
• What does embracing growth look like for me?

Felicia shared this quote that really stayed with me after the session and now that I’m home and reflecting: “Your mindset is the compass that guides your journey.  Embracing growth over perfection is extremely vital to how you choose to show up for the experience.”  For me, “embracing growth” definitely means re-examining my need for perfection.  I’m a “recovering perfectionist” who has to work to keep that perfectionism mindset at bay sometimes, so this topic was especially impactful for me.  

Grace and Self-Compassion

Next, we heard from Black Woman Leading Coach Karma Hill, whose topic was “Giving Grace: Self-Compassion Skills to Support your Wellness.”  Karma shared two quotes to get us thinking about the topic of grace and compassion:

• “Self-compassion involves directing sensitivity inwardly to our own experience of suffering along with a deep desire to alleviate the suffering.”  (Kristen Neff)
• “Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.” (Christopher Germer)

We learned that self-compassion is not self-pity, self-indulgence, making excuses, being passive or complacent.  Rather, self-compassion is about self-kindness versus self-judgment; a sense of common humanity versus isolation; and mindfulness versus over-identification when confronting painful self-relevant thoughts and emotions.  We even took the time for a Tender Self Compassion Break so we can practice that for ourselves to take forward after our time together.  Karma reminded us that: All humans are imperfect; we deserve kindness; and we all have life challenges and need to give ourselves grace.

Wrapping Up and Keeping the Momentum Going

Black Woman Leading founder Laura Knights closed the conference and retreat reminding us of our intentions that we created on Day 1 and the action steps that we have been creating through the conference.

As the conference closed we were reminded “I am everything I want to be. I have everything I need.” via this song.  Laura also told us not to forget to schedule an “appointment” with ourselves within the next two weeks to work on our actions.  No matter how informative and inspiring a conference or retreat may be, it’s so easy to get caught up in our day to day lives and back to “business as usual” when we get home—I’ve been guilty of this myself in the past, so I really needed this reminder to intentionally set aside time in the next few weeks to tackle the action steps I committed to at the retreat.    

I especially needed to set my “follow-up” appointment because I had barely any time to take a breath post-summit! The very day the Black Woman Leading LIVE conference concluded, I was off to Atlanta for several days to lead coaching trainings at an annual conference for AmeriCorps members that the nonprofit I work for hosts.  I was asked to lead 3 three-hour coaching training sessions, which is really just a “teaser” or introduction to coaching—but I was still a little nervous about preparing all my materials in time and getting back into in-person training after a long pivot to virtual during the pandemic.  

As I was getting prepared for my training on Tuesday, I realized that I didn’t print enough materials so I would need to find somewhere to do some extra printing.  I was really beating myself up about not being fully prepared but as I was walking to the local FedEx Office I saw this mural which has one of my favorite MLK quotes:

Reflecting on the meaning of this quote and all of my experience coming off Black Woman Leading LIVE—especially the sessions about letting go of my pursuit for perfection and giving myself grace—helped calm my nerves and remind me that I’ve trained and practiced for delivering exactly this type of training.

Once the training started, that comfort level immediately returned—and it was so great to be back training in person instead of connecting with participants through little Zoom squares on screen!  I led the participants through one of my favorite coaching activities, in which they break into small groups that each come up with an image, word, song title or some other creative way to describe several common service delivery methods—counseling, training, mentoring, and coaching—and to note the ways they differ from one another.

I love this exercise because it not only helps participants understand how coaching is unique from counseling, training, and mentoring, but I get to see so many different forms of creativity!  We had some groups share songs which they shared on their phone. We had some groups who had artists in their group, so they drew images.  We had a few skits—for example, one group acted out a scene where everyone was in an elevator together with someone and the elevator got stuck.  One person in the elevator acted out having a panic attack and each of the other group members assisted the person as a counselor, trainer, mentor, or coach would do.  The exercise allows individuals to think about how these roles have some similarities, but they are also some distinct things as well.  (I’ll share more about those similarities and differences in a future blog post!)

In addition to the excitement of this conference being back in person for the first time since 2019, for the first time the audience included not only AmeriCorps members but interns from my employer’s internship program for HBCU (Historically Black Colleges & Universities) students. Being an HBCU alum myself and having built a two decade-plus career in the nonprofit and community economic development industries, it was especially meaningful to me to have this opportunity to connect with the next generation of emerging leaders.    

Staying Connected

As you might have picked up from reading my blog posts this month, Black Woman Leading—both the live conference + retreat and the leadership program—have been transformative for me, both personally and professionally.  If you’re a Black woman, here are some great ways that you can connect with the Black Woman Leading Community:    

• Listen to the Podcast
• Join the interest list for next year’s Retreat & Conference
• Check out the programs for early career, mid-career and executives. 
• Follow Black Woman Leading on social media

For the rest of my readers, I invite you to listen to the Podcast and share information about Black Woman Leading with Black women family, friends, or colleagues in your lives.

Inspired by all of the wisdom about self-compassion and self-care that I learned at Black Woman Leading LIVE, I’ll be taking a break from posting next Thursday to give myself some time to unwind and tackle some of those action items from the summit.  But I’ll be back with a new blog series in July and look forward to reconnecting with you then!    

Leveling Up in Our Careers

Day Two of the conference had a thought-provoking and productive start, as Black Women Leading founder Laura Knights led us through a morning session focused on our next level career growth strategy.  Laura structured the agenda so that this was a working session guided by a worksheet for us to complete and a guided set of discussion topics.  We first examined our “current state” in our career and shared about our “vision state” and the things it might take to get there.  With our table-mates, we talked about our current strengths, our “gaps,” and skills we needed to develop to get to the next level in our careers.  The worksheet also helped walk us through an inventory of the relationships and resources we need to move close to that vision state.

Some of the questions that I wrote for further exploration for myself: Am I pushing myself?  Is this really what I want to do?  Am I being safe? Am I sitting in comfort?  I’ve definitely taken my career to new levels over the past couple of years—with moving into a more senior leadership role and my full-time job, launching my business, and tackling my longtime goal of pursuing ICF coaching certification —but I still think it’s important to take time to reflect, with intention, on what I want that next “next level” to look like, and to set new goals as I achieve my current ones.

Living Better through Better Sleep Habits

Then we got to hear from Dr. Angela Holliday-Bell whose session was called “Sleep Better to Live Better:  How to Elevate Your Life Through Better Sleep.”  Dr. Holliday-Bell shared seven tips for how to start doing this:

1. Prioritize sleep
2. Learn your sleep need to function optimally.  (Some of us need more sleep than others in order to feel healthy and well-rested.)
3. Start your day with sleep in mind
4. Manage daily stress and anxiety
5. Create a soothing bedroom and bedtime routine
6. Protect your relationship between your bed and sleep
7. Don’t be afraid to ask for help

This session spoke to me in so many ways!  I’m fortunate that I don’t often have trouble sleeping, but some of these tips (especially #4 on managing stress and anxiety!) are ongoing things I need to work on.  And I’d never really thought much about sleep as something that’s essential for us to protect and prioritize, so Dr. Holliday-Bell really got me thinking about how important it is to be intentional about sleep and rest.  I know that I can work to implement some of these practices to function more optimally in order to live better.

Another High-Energy Afternoon

After lunch we got a special performance by Tarrey Torae whom I had never heard of before but I’m looking forward to listening to more of her music.  She even did a mini lesson on stepping and had everyone up out of their seats learning how to step—another great example of ways that the conference organizers came up with to pull us out of that typical post-lunch energy slump! 

The afternoon continued with a panel of the Black Women Leading Coaches and there were sooo many gems dropped that I’d run out of room if I shared them all, but some of the most impactful ones that I wrote down were about boundaries and wellness.  The panel talked about how setting boundaries is really about teaching people how to treat you; setting, communicating, and upholding boundaries; and holding yourself accountable for maintaining those boundaries.  That can be tough to do, but we were reminded how important it is to be consistent in enforcing boundaries and not to waver—because ultimately, we won’t reach the level of success we aspire to without setting firm and clear boundaries.  Like many of us, I’ve sometimes struggled to set boundaries or say “no” to things in the past.  The panel reminded us to stop apologizing for your boundaries and that we don’t have to apologize for taking care of ourselves.

After discussing boundaries as a form of self-care, the panel shared other ways that we can look after our wellness, such as taking time to rest—and not only taking time, but intentionally scheduling those rest breaks so that we can be sure we take them!  This resonated with me because in the past I’ve sometimes caught myself falling into a pattern where I keep meaning to take time off, but then something always comes up that gets in the way or makes me think I should postpone my break to take care of whatever thing that popped up that seems more urgent or important.  I was grateful for the reminder from the panel that we deserve to take care of ourselves and as one panelist said “we are worthy of pampering ourselves!” and need to give ourselves permission to do so.  Everyone emphasized the wellness is a lifestyle and a practice. I came out of that session feeling re-committed to prioritizing my wellness and well-building and I’ve been using the phrase “I will chose self-care for myself” as an occasional mantra these last few weeks.

Knowing Our Value

Turning back to career considerations, our next session was Salary Negotiation with Lenna Turner.  This is a topic that is SO important for women and for Black women in particular as well as other women of color.  It also resonates personally with me because—perhaps like many of you have experienced as well—I’ve been in positions over the course of my career where I realized that I was being underpaid and undervalued and wished that I’d been more assertive in my salary negotiations in hindsight.  Of course, it’s hard because as women we’re often socialized to be nice, agreeable, non-confrontational, etc.; to be grateful for a job offer we’re given and worried about coming across as “greedy” for asking for more money.  Pay discrimination is also very real.  Employers and policymakers bear the primary responsibility to end it, but while we’re collectively worked toward this broader systems change, Lenna shared some great tips to help us raise our voices in the salary negotiation process. The core principle that Lenna shared is “Know Your Value,” and from that, take steps to convince your boss of your ”value contribution.”  Be prepared as you head into a salary negotiation, use specific examples, connect the dots between your accomplishments and skills and the value of your work, be confident, and be open to feedback.  While I’ve improved in my salary negotiation skills over the years, I’ll definitely be channeling some of Lenna’s advice when it’s time for my next compensation discussion with my boss. (These principles are also helpful to me in thinking through how I price my own services in my business.)

Making the Most of that Salary (or Business Revenue)

Our final session of the day was “You Earned It, Now Protect It: Financial Management Strategies” with Nikki Tucker.  Now, I thought I was doing an okay job with my finances.  I’ve learned a lot over the years, and I’ve also developed quite a bit of expertise in personal finance and financial coaching through my day job in the nonprofit sector.  But this session gave me some great new ideas!  To be honest, I was even a little overwhelmed at first—Nikki gave us a list of about 15 “to-dos” for our finances but also encouraged us to give ourselves “permission” to take only what we need.  I’m not going to try and be an overachiever and tackle all those 15 things, I’m going to take them one by one and over a reasonable time frame.

Nikki started by letting us know “we can’t protect what we are not aware of”; in other words, the first step (even though it might be a little scary) was taking stock and taking an honest look at where we are with our finances.  She gave us a “You Earned It Worksheet” to use during the session and for follow-up after the session.  It was broken in the following categories:

• Security
• Credit
• Assets
• Love/Marriage/Divorce

And the session ended with an “organizational pulse check” (kind of like a quiz) which I got 80% on–but who’s counting. (I can be competitive with myself but have to remember that it’s not a bad thing that I still have room to learn and grow! )

Winding Down

After another incredible day of conference sessions, dinner on Day Two was on our own.  While I had so much fun turning it up with the other conference-goers at our dinner cruise the night before, it was also nice to have some quiet time to myself to unwind.  I took time before dinner to go to the beach and take a few pics.  Then I laid out my towel, turned on my praise & worship music and just reflected on the past two days of the conference.  Taking the “rest,” “wellness,” and “self-care” themes from the session earlier in the afternoon to heart, I used this as my time to relax by the beach, hear from God a bit and just listen to the waves.  Wherever you are in the world—beach or no—and whatever wellness and self-care mean to you, I hope you too can find some time this week to relax and reflect.      

“Emotional Intelligence“

After lunch, we got right back a full afternoon with a session on:  “Leading from the Inside-Out: Growing Your Emotional Intelligence” with Black Women Leading Coach Sunnette Thompson. Sunnette defined Emotional Intelligence as: 1) the ability to recognize our feelings and those of others; 2) the capacity to motivate self; and 3) the ability to manage emotions in ourselves and relationships.  Key elements of Emotional Intelligence include self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and relationship management; and we discussed the importance of “leading from within” with self-awareness and self-regulation. 

 I left the session with some powerful reflections on how this discussion applied to me and my leadership style, both in my full-time job and in my coaching and facilitation practice.  How am I using emotional intelligence as I am leading?  Am I using it? How can I do better?  How can I exercise, build and grow this muscle?

“Relationship Management“

For my readers who attend conferences or all-day work meetings regularly, you might be like me: every time I’m at a conference, I feel that post-lunch energy slump coming on mid-afternoon, like clockwork.  However, at this conference, I quickly realized there was no danger of that happening! Black Women Leading founder Laura Knights took the stage for the next session, on relationship management, and she kept the energy level at 100%!  Laura talked about the concept of “influence” and how influence really means driving action and results.  We can build our influence through relationship management, personal branding, a visibility strategy, and self-advocacy.  Managing relationships is about intentionally building connections with others, learning how to positively influence interactions, navigating through difficult situations, and actively monitoring them for mutual benefit to both parties.  Laura also talked about self-awareness about adaptations like code switching, the mirroring danger and belonging.     

I really appreciated that Laura built time into her session for small-group discussion among our tables.  She asked us to consider and share with our table-mates some of the following questions:

• How are you currently using your influence at work?
• How are you utilizing the relationships within your reach to achieve your professional goals?
• How can I create win-win relationships that will benefit me as well as them?

I’ll admit, heading into this particular session, I wasn’t sure at first what new things I might learn–even though I was confident that I would hear something thought-provoking, since I always do when Laura presents!  Relationship management is an ever-present topic for me. You could even say that I live and breathe relationship management in my full-time job.  On an almost daily basis, it’s critical to the success of my community economic development work that I build and maintain relationships with a diverse range of collaborators: staff who I supervise, executive leadership who supervise me, external parties like funders of our work, and both senior leadership and frontline staff at our community-based nonprofit partners.  

My business wouldn’t be successful without relationship management, either. Trust and strong relationships are absolutely fundamental to a productive coaching dynamic, and it’s of utmost importance to me that I maintain solid relationships with my consulting, facilitation, and training clients too.  But I hadn’t thought much about how relationship management connected to influence or what it means to cultivate influence.  I realized I’d always thought of “influence” as the domain of powerful people in high-profile roles, like CEOs and politicians–but Laura’s session made the light bulb go off in my head that we all have opportunities to cultivate influence each and every day.  This quote that Laura shared especially resonated with me, and it’s something I’m still sitting with now that I’m back home:  

“Influencing is everything we say or don’t say, do or don’t do, are or are not, that modifies, affects, or changes someone else’s behavior, thoughts or actions, consciously, or unconsciously, for good or ill”.  –Anonymous

“Personal Branding”

Of course, while on-site at Black Women Leading LIVE, I didn’t have much time to sit with that quote or my thoughts because we rolled straight into the next session on “ Being on Brand: Personal Branding for Career Growth,” led by none other than my coach from my time in the Black Women Leading leadership development program, Summer Alexander.  It was great to connect with Summer again, and to know that the entire summit audience would have the opportunity to benefit from some of the knowledge and wisdom that I knew she would share.  Some of the gems that Summer dropped included:

• As it relates to the workplace, your personal brand is the external perception of how your peers and leaders view you, based on how you consistently present yourself.
• Benefits of building your brand include differentiation, influence, career development and strong reputation.
• Four pillars of a personal brand are implementation, strategy, self-management, and  self-awareness. 
• Strategy without implementation is a waste of time, energy and the piece of paper you wrote it on.  (Having spent most of my career in the nonprofit sector where we can sometimes get bogged down in studies and strategic plans, I felt this takeaway in my soul! )
• Consistency is key when it comes to your personal brand.
• You have to know what the core of you is and know your brand.
• We have to own our own narrative. 
• Brand components include values & beliefs, skills & expertise, personality & style and strengths & opportunities.
• Be so good that they can’t ignore you.

I’ll confess, this is a topic where I am definitely still growing!  My mindset through much of my nonprofit career has been to stay behind the scenes, in service of elevating our community partners and not myself.  I had to make a major shift when I became an entrepreneur and realized that my personal brand would be critical to my success in my business–and ultimately to expanding my ability to transform organizations and change lives through my work with my clients.  I’m still a work in progress here, but Summer left us with four actions to develop a brand that positions you to accomplish your career goals:  assess your brand, boost your brand, consistency is key, and decide your journey. 

Winding Down An Inspiring Day

The day ended with a session called “Lessons from the C-Suite” with Janara Jones (Vice President – Global Taxes and Chief Tax Officer at Albemarle Corporation) and Dorri McWhorter (President & CEO of YMCA of Metropolitan Chicago).  I didn’t take notes, just listened and absorbed as these incredibly accomplished women shared about their journeys to the C-Suite.  It reminded me that our career journeys are not linear:  we get to choose which path we want to take and there’s nothing wrong with going after what you want for yourself and your career. 

True to Laura Knights’ promise that we’d have plenty of opportunities to take advantage of the “retreat” portion of the retreat and conference, our evening activity was a Dinner Cruise and we absolutely made the most of it.  Perfect weather, good food, good company, a little dancing–what more could a group of powerful, creative, energized women ask for?  We even sang a bit of Mary J. Blige in unison! 

As you can see, it was a jam-packed day of knowledge, growth, and building community with my fellow summit participants! There’s so much to share that I have yet more to write about in next week’s blog.  But for now, I want to conclude by giving a HUGE shout-out to Sandria Washington, who served as the emcee for the entire conference.  It’s a more nuanced and involved role than many people think it might be.  The emcee has to provide the transition between sessions, confidently speak before an audience of hundreds, introduce other high-powered speakers and session leaders, and share important “housekeeping” information about the agenda and conference logistics like break times and restroom location.  A truly great emcee also finds a way to keep the audience energized and engaged throughout.  Sandria had such an incredible way of connecting with the audience and getting us into the right mindset to receive what was in store for each day and each session. 

I’m definitely going to draw inspiration from Sandria’s energy in some of my future training and facilitation gigs! Until next week, I’ll leave you with a little “insider” clip of our impromptu singing during the dinner cruise and hope it brings you some of the joy we were all channeling that evening.  (And none other than Dorri McWhorter from the afternoon’s “C-Suite” panel joined right in–talk about a CEO who’s driving impact in her community, inspiring the next generation of Black women leaders, and having fun while doing it!)    

How it Started

First up, I took a long weekend off from my day job to focus on my personal development and my growth as an entrepreneur by attending the Black Woman Leading LIVE Retreat + Conference in Florida.  This was an exciting next step in a journey that started in summer 2021 when I saw a post from a colleague about the Black Woman Leading Leadership Development program.  The program called to me and to my goals as an entrepreneur, and after reaching out to Black Women Leading’s founder Laura Knights, I enrolled in and completed the leadership program later that fall.  The experiences and insights I gained through the program and the community I built with other participants made me want to stay engaged.  I continued to participate in Black Women Leading’s alumni program in 2022 to stay connected to program and other alums and I even appeared on an episode of Laura’s podcast along with other alums to talk about “Navigating Your Career Path.”

As soon as Laura announced that she’d be holding the first ever Black Women Leading retreat and conference in May 2023, I knew that I had to participate!  I got registered right away and shared the announcement with as many Black women that I knew.  (Like the colleague who first put Black Women Leading on my radar screen back in 2021, I’m always looking for opportunities to share information and resources that have helped me with my own networks.) 

I took an early morning flight so that I could enjoy the area before the pre-conference Alumni Dinner in the evening.  But traveling takes a lot out of you–especially when your flight leaves at 6:55am like mine did!–so by the time I got to the resort and my room was ready, I was so tempted to just crash and chill out in the room.  But I reminded myself that this experience was supposed to be all about self care and pouring into myself so I walked across the street for a manicure and pedicure at the spa I’d checked out briefly at the airport that morning. And I was sooo glad I did; it was a great experience and the perfect bit of pampering to banish the stress from travel and put myself in the right frame of mind for the next two busy conference days ahead!

Kicking off Black Women Leading LIVE

 Black Woman Leading’s Founder Laura Knights kicked off the conference on Friday morning by asking us to set our intentions and give ourselves “permission slips,” asking us to reflect on the question “What permission slips do you need to write yourself to be present?”  Laura also shared the “3 C’s” for attendees throughout the retreat weekend: Care, Community, and Clarity.  Reiterating the “care” mandate, she reminded us all that the weekend was designed to be a conference and a retreat and that there would be time for learning but also time for relaxing and “retreating.”  This was a welcome reminder, especially for folks like me who work in industries where the term “retreat” is often used as a euphemism for an all-day or multi-day business and strategy meeting! (And the Black Women Leading LIVE attendees definitely took advantage of the opportunity to build community and have some fun–more on that later in this post and next week’s.)     

Reflecting on Laura’s prompt, I set my intention–be open to receiving what’s for me–and gave myself the “permission slip” to be open to meeting new people and adding to my community.  Even though I often lead trainings and feel completely in my element talking to and facilitating discussion among a room full of people in my day job and my business, I can actually be more of an introvert in social and networking settings.  After Laura’s kick-off, I enjoyed two more thought-provoking and powerful sessions over the course of the morning. 

“Managing Grief from Career Transitions”

Black Woman Leading Coach Chinasa Elue, Ph.D Associate Professor of Ed Leadership and Higher Ed led this discussion, and it was truly eye-opening for me! We generally only talk about grief in the context of losing a loved one, but grief can apply in other situations too.  In this session we learned about grief in the context of job transitions and a framework for how to walk through it.  Dr. Elue shared a framework called the ACT Framework that we can use when we realize that it’s time to leave a space that we have outgrown: Acknowledge that pain exists, Care (Self & Community) & Truth (honoring our lived experience). 

This session really had me reflecting as I’ve been with my current employer for 16 years.  I’ve been fortunate to grow and develop during that time, both personally and in terms of my career advancement.  I’ve always enjoyed and felt a strong connection to my work and I’ve gained so many valuable colleagues and friends along the way–so this is something that I will have to truly think about when it’s time for me to make my next move and transition out of the company.  Every job transition has its challenges, especially when you’ve been as invested in the work for such a long time as I have, and hearing Dr. Elue apply the lens of grief to those types of transitions and provide a way of processing and moving through that grief gave me tools that I know will be helpful in my future.  I shared one of her slides that especially resonated with me in a LinkedIn recap in case it’s helpful for someone else.

“Worthiness Within Your Wardrobe”

Morgan Wider led the next workshop that was subtitled “How to Show Up with Power and Purpose.” I wasn’t quite sure what to expect when I first read the session title in the conference agenda. How would our wardrobe tie in with our power and purpose?  I was intrigued to learn more, though, especially given that the pandemic and our remote work/stay-at-home time during the height of COVID-19 has up-ended some of the norms and trends around how we dress at work and even at home.  Plus, I’ve been fortunate to work in an industry for many years that hasn’t typically enforced strict dress codes, so I’ll admit it’s been a long time since I gave my wardrobe that much thought! 

It turned out this session was about so much more than wardrobe and appearance! Morgan is a sought-after speaker and style consultant but my biggest takeaway from her talk was that while clothes are an outward expression of what we feel about ourselves, truly showing up with power and purpose in our lives requires first cultivating confidence and self-love within.  Morgan coached us all to accept our imperfections–whatever those may be–practice forgiveness for our flaw or mistakes, and think about self-love as an everyday job. 

We also each went through a powerful exercise where Morgan asked us to turn our phone cameras to face ourselves and to press record as we recited this……

Needless to say, this wasn’t what I was expecting when I sat down for a conference session that I thought might be a light-hearted discussion about wardrobe, but the practice of recording our prayers of self-love and forgiveness really landed with me in a profound way and I’m still thinking about those words now that I’m back home in my day to day life.  Looking back at my notes from Morgan’s session, I wrote down what I was feeling in that moment after our exercise and I know these words will be sitting with me for a long time too:  I am Worthy; I Show up; I Show up “on purpose”; I am worthy of being seen.  And yes, the session did inspire me to start thinking about fashion too, and how I can incorporate some items into my wardrobe that better express my inner self and my unique personal style!  (I’ll let you know how that goes in the coming months and maybe even share a photo or two in a future blog if I find a new outfit that feels like a visual representation of “showing up on purpose!”)

Getting back to the “retreat” aspect of our retreat, we had lunch on the beach, which was fantastic!  If you’ve had to attend conferences over the years for your work like I have, you know that the typical conference has participants indoors for the entire day, and often in what can feel like a never-ending series of windowless meeting rooms!  Our beach lunch was a welcome opportunity to get outside and get some sun and take in the view of the water.  I’ll close out this week’s post with a few pics I captured of the Gulf of Mexico.  Wherever you are in the world–beachside or not–I hope it inspires you to take a few minutes for yourself and get outside for some fresh air this week! I’ll be making space to do the same as I work on next week’s post continuing my reflections from Black Women Leading LIVE.