Use Meditation to Create Awareness

There are many ways to interpret and define the concept of awareness. For our purposes, let’s look at this term as it relates to self-development and growth. Awareness refers to the unbiased power of observation, without self-influenced thoughts or perceptions getting in the way. As humans, we are inherently biased to view the world through our own lens. We make meaning of the world around us through our own filters, and sometimes those filters are heavily clouded by false notions, low self-worth or misunderstanding. To be aware is to grasp the meaning of an event, circumstance or experience through a clearer lens, absent of as much bias as is possible. It is to see things as they are. In order to reach this capability, you need to be present in the moment and to block out distractions such as your inner negative self-talk. One of the most effective methods for gaining unadulterated awareness is to employ a practice of meditation. You’ll discover how you can use meditation to create awareness by reading the benefits it brings listed below.

• Brings the Present to Focus. In order to become more aware and to notice things in the present as they truly are, things that others might miss, you need to cultivate mindfulness. Mindfulness is the art of experiencing the present moment, or the here and now. With so many worries and obligations, most of us are thinking of a million things throughout our day. When we have such distractions clouding our thoughts, it’s impossible to be fully aware. Our senses become dulled, and we miss what is occurring in the moment. Meditation helps to clear the mind and train your brain to eliminate the clutter.
• Clears the Clutter. Meditation comes in various forms. It truly doesn’t matter which type you utilize, as long as you engage in some form on a regular basis. It takes practice to learn to filter out the useless noise of your mind and learn to focus on the present. An easy way to begin is to simply sit in a quiet space with your eyes closed and take deep breaths in and out. Focus on just your breathing. If a stray thought enters your mind, it’s okay to take note of it. Then push it aside to return to your breathing. This will require practice, but soon you’ll find yourself easily ignoring the clutter in your brain and focusing on your breath or other chosen object.
• Gain Control. So many of us allow our thoughts and impulses to control us. We react to every emotion and are thrown into a state of chaos with the slightest bit of upheaval. You may recognize yourself in these statements. If so, know that meditation can help you to gain control over your thoughts, fears and emotions. With this control comes greater awareness without bias. Your mind and its contents are your tools. You are in charge of how you use them. As you practice meditation, you will note this transformation occurs gradually. It is an incredibly empowering realization to know you are in control.

Meditation can take many forms and variations.  Some folks combine physical movement with a meditation and mindfulness practice–for example, doing yoga or tai chi.  Meditation can intertwine with prayer if you have a spiritual practice, or it can be completely secular.  However you choose to personalize your practice, meditation can increase and enhance your awareness. Becoming more aware of your world as it truly is, rather than viewing it through a clouded lens, is essential to any successful self-growth path.

Get in the Habit of Giving Yourself a Pep Talk

Because the way we think has such an effect on our feelings and behaviors, it would make sense to place a great deal of emphasis on improving those thoughts. Learning to recognize negative self-talk and transform those messages into more positive, realistic statements can be daunting. However, it’s definitely an activity worth pursuing for its returns on the investment. Another extremely powerful method for overriding the toxicity of intrusive thoughts is to use regular affirmations to remind yourself of what’s good and wonderful about you. When you get in the habit of giving yourself a pep talk every day, you’ll soon start to believe the words you are saying and internalize them as truth. The magnificent transformation this small change in behavior can bring is astounding. Check out some of the benefits of self-affirmations, how they work and how these positive recitations can change your life. 

• About Positive Affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements that are used to enhance and help solidify beliefs. They can be written down or recited verbally. What’s important about these sentences is that they are concise and personally meaningful. The goal in utilizing these short statements as tools is to affirm them to ourselves or to practice repeating them until we believe them. Repeated exposure to a message can be quite influential. Consider the impact the negative messages you repeatedly feed yourself has had on your psyche. Those toxic effects can be combated through exposure to positive messages. The use of simple affirmations such as, “I am worthy of love,” or “I am capable in my work,” can be used to help you impact a number of areas in your life. Use positive affirmations or pep talks to overcome habits that you’re trying to change, move forward in your career or become more confident, along with countless other purposes.
• How They Work. Learning anything well enough that it comes entrenched in your mind or habitual involves repetition. That is the premise behind affirmations. It is the repeating of these upbeat and affirming phrases that helps you to internalize them. Essentially, repetition of anything will reprogram your brain’s circuits in order to change the new into the familiar. By stating your daily mantras over and over again, you are hardwiring your brain to accept them as truth. Hence, you believe them and then you start to live them. Just as your old self-sabotaging thoughts held you back, these new energizing ones can propel you forward in a myriad of ways.
• How to Use Them. First, brainstorm the areas in which you feel you could use the most positivity in order to break free of self-limiting beliefs. Make a list. Then choose two or three areas that are most important to you and write down a handful of phrases in each category. Keep the ones that most resonate with you and use them as your daily affirmations. Keep this list handy so you can pull it out whenever you need a quick pep talk, but also choose a time each day to sit with your words and recite them. You can do this silently to yourself or read them out loud for more effect. Many people embark on this practice first thing in the morning, as they find it’s a great way to start the day on a high note. Some prefer other times that are more in sync with their lifestyle. The choice is yours.

Getting in the habit of giving yourself a pep talk by reciting your affirmations is one of the most empowering acts you can do when it comes to growing as a person. Be sure to stick with the habit for at least 30 days and be consistent. You’ll gradually begin to notice a transformation in your thoughts and behaviors like you never could have expected.

One of my favorite things about meditation and affirmations is that you can do them anywhere. Sure, a getaway like a retreat or a beautiful setting like a beach can help set the mood for cultivating a positive mindset–I have great memories of how powerful it was to participate in group affirmations at the Black Woman Leading LIVE summit last spring, or how peaceful it was to dial in to my thoughts while on the beach one evening listening to the waves during that same retreat trip–but I find it just as easy and beneficial to practice meditation and affirmations in the “everyday” environment of my own home. I hope this January series has given you some inspiration and ideas to get started on cultivating your positive mindset and setting your self-growth goals for the year. Stay tuned for next week’s post as we move to a new theme for February!

Surround Yourself With Other Positive Minds

Reaching for new goals takes a lot of dedication. You need to keep your desired end result in view if you want to stay motivated. When striving to develop a positive mindset, you can do this by choosing the people you allow into your circle carefully. By intentionally cultivating a circle of others who are similarly committed to a positive mindset, you can help reinforce some of your thinking and habits. Surround yourself with other positive minds, and you’re bound to become more positive yourself.

Now, before I dive into this point a bit more, I do want to acknowledge that, realistically, everyone can’t always maintain a positive attitude 100% of the time. We all hit rough patches now and then–some that last longer than others–and being there to listen and support a friend or family member going through a tough time is an important part of maintaining authentic relationships. In other words, I’m definitely not advocating that anyone ditch friends or family for not maintaining relentless, constant positivity.  (It’s not realistic for us to expect ourselves to be positive no matter what, either!)

But when reflecting on a positive mindset, I’ve learned over the years that it can help to intentionally examine the folks you surround yourself with and think about where boundaries might be helpful. For example, we all have friends or family that we’ve supported through a tough time. Many of us might also have friends of family that, when we really think about it, we realize that they’re negative, cranky, or critical more often than not–and that over time, in turn, this energy can be emotionally draining on us and derail us from our own self-growth and positivity.  When that happens, sometimes it’s helpful to limit our time spent around those folks and look for more positive people to surround ourselves with. So, what are some of the benefits of connecting with others who have that positive mindset?

• They Motivate You. Making changes in your life requires motivation. What better way to motivate yourself to look on the bright side of things than to hang out with positive thinking people? You’ll observe them in action, picking up clues as to what makes them such outgoing and upbeat folks. You may even discover that you begin modeling similar behavior without even realizing it. People who see the glass as half full are more likely to encourage you when you tell them about your dreams, and nothing is more motivating than genuine support and having cheerleaders in your corner.
• They Lift You Up. Make a concerted effort to spend your time with can-do thinkers, and you won’t want to complain or see the negative side of things nearly as frequently. The reason for this is because positive people don’t allow negativity to impose on their beings. They will likely confront any frequent nay-sayers who come around them or walk away from them to find more like-minded friends. Surrounding yourself with friends and loved ones who have a positive mindset is like an insurance policy for keeping your blue mood and trash talk at bay.
• They Can Teach You. If you find that staying upbeat just doesn’t come naturally to you, it’s definitely a good idea to find some positive friends and colleagues. Who better to learn from than the “experts,” right? Not only can you learn through observation, but your friends probably won’t mind if you ask a question or two now and then. Don’t be afraid to seek advice on ways to maintain gratitude when times get tough or how to let small annoyances go before they turn into big problems. These types of folks are usually willing to help when they can as long as you are respectful of their time and their boundaries.

These are just some of the many reasons you should surround yourself with positive people. Our friends are a reflection of ourselves, so it sure makes sense to choose ones that present an image to aspire to. Besides, positivity can be contagious!

But what are some other ways to find support from others for your self-growth? The people in our lives on a day-to-day basis are important, but what if you’re also looking for some more structured and formal support, a mentor may be just what you need.

The Right Mentors can Skyrocket Your Personal Growth

A mentor is someone who possesses knowledge in a particular area and who wishes to share that information with someone else in order to help that person, or mentee, improve themselves. I have had many mentors who have supported me in my personal growth.  You can have a mentor in a career capacity or simply in your own self development. Having someone to learn from can be a tremendous help in reaching your potential.   

• Get There Faster. While personal development isn’t a race and is best viewed as a lifelong pursuit, it can be truly beneficial to be able to learn from someone else’s journey. The best kinds of mentoring relationships involve guidance from the mentor rather than instructions or commands; you’ll learn more effectively if you aren’t told exactly what to do and how to do it. Life’s lessons must be navigated on one’s own to be fully understood. However, with the help of a trusted guide, you can absorb these lessons in a more meaningful way and use them to your advantage.
• See Your Blind Spots. Noting your own weaknesses is an incredibly tricky thing. Sometimes we’re aware of our flaws, but not willing to acknowledge them due to pride or some other self-serving reason. There are other instances in which we truly are blind to what others may perceive as a negative trait. Your mentor is someone you trust and look up to. Therefore, it is easier for this person to be truthful with you about the things that may be difficult for others to share. A trusted mentor can point you to areas in need of improvement in a way that is sensitive and kind in order to move you along your development.
• Have a Cheerleader. We all could use someone to support and encourage us along our journey, no matter what that path may be. When trying to improve yourself for the better or to reach personal goals, having a cheerleader in your corner can make all the difference. A mentor can provide you with words of wisdom or motivation when you want to give up or when it seems impossible to overcome life’s obstacles. A mentor is different from a friend in that this trusted adviser can provide insight that is directly relevant to your goals and that comes from the perspective of someone who has already walked a similar path.
• Receive Insight. A mentoring relationship can provide you with insight in a number of ways. Hearing your mentor’s stories of their own self growth is often inspiring and can point you in the direction of some valuable resources you may not have otherwise known about. Much of personal development involves reading and discovering new ways of viewing the world and your movement within it. Your mentor may be able to recommend websites, blogs or books that contain relevant information to your particular interests. You can also gain valuable insight just by observing your guide as they conduct themselves in life’s interactions. Having a model to learn from is a benefit in and of itself.

So, if you want to achieve the most from your personal growth pursuits, finding a mentor is a good step to take. Your adviser can be a trusted friend whom you know has been through their own enlightenment or a relative from whom you can learn. The important thing is that you feel comfortable with the person and that they possess adequate life experience to guide you along your way. And if you’re so inclined, I can add a personal plug for looking for opportunities to be a mentor to someone else, yourself! I’ve grown tremendously from learning from my mentors and also from serving as a mentor to others–that saying about mentors learning as much from their mentees as the mentees learn from the mentors really is true!

Next week, we’ll turn inward again, and I’ll be back to share some final thoughts on mindfulness and affirmations that you can use to help you cultivate positive thought and self-growth.  Until then, stay warm out there and have a great rest of your week!

But how do we put this into practice? How do we keep on our path of learning and growth as the year goes on, especially when it’s easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day of work, family, or other life responsibilities.

Making a commitment to personal development isn’t always easy or doesn’t always come naturally–but it’s definitely a worthwhile investment of your time and resources. Growing as a person doesn’t require a formal education or spending a lot of money on workshops by well-known experts. There are tons of ways to expand your mind and to become a more fulfilled person, the benefits of which are immense.

• Avoid Boredom. Boredom is one of the biggest contributors to the feeling of being stuck in a rut. Being bored is a symptom of a mind that is not fully engaged, and it can lead to complacency. The longer you remain unexcited about the life you’re living, the harder it can become to motivate yourself to look for ways to change. Instead, look for ways to stretch your comfort zone. Make a list of ways to do this. It can include new topics or skills you’d like to learn, types of people you’d be interested to meet, experiences that would delight you or something as simple as a different kind of food you want to try. Your list should include baby steps and large leaps. Start with the small stuff and work your way to bigger things or mix it up as the mood strikes.
• Expand Your Life. By remaining stuck in a rut, you’re limiting yourself. You’re missing out on new experiences, satisfying relationships and career fulfillment. Taking time to learn something about a topic of interest or about yourself expands your life through knowledge and opportunity. Each item you place on the list of steps you take toward self-growth adds a little more to your world. Perhaps it’s a new skill that can open up exciting job prospects or maybe it’s an encounter with a person who may become a trusted friend. It could also be an idea or concept that was previously unknown to you, but which could transform your entire belief system. You never know what wonderful things are out there if you choose to remain where you are. For me, connecting with other solopreneurs this year presents an exciting opportunity to learn from their experiences and explore potential collaborations that could open up new possibilities.
• Increase Creativity. Your creativity can become stagnant, even if you’re a person who likes to create, like an artist, singer, crafter or writer. Sometimes we simply find our creative outlets take a back burner while we are focused on other aspects of life. That’s fine, but it can be incredibly difficult to find your way back to creativity again when it’s been absent for a while. Even if creating has never been at the top of your list, you can benefit from adding a spark of imagination to your life. Setting aside specific time to read books or take classes on some form of artistry can inspire renewed interest in you. Simply deciding to add some new recipes to your usual menu choices can be enough to inspire a change in your outlook.
• Make Priorities. As you begin to explore various topics of personal development, you may start to notice that your priorities shift. Something in your exploration is likely to strike a chord and excite you enough that you want to dedicate more of your time to learning about it. This means you will be forced to step out of your current routine in order to make time for your new interest. This simple action can be the catalyst for additional changes to come.
• Gain Happiness. Through your exposure to novel ideas and information, you are bound to come across experiences, people and, hopefully, passions that may shift your worldview. You may begin to appreciate nonmaterial things more and begin to focus on the joy that comes from such riches.

These are all some good basic principles to guide our thinking, but let’s drill down a bit more into how to apply some of these elements to your self-growth plans more concretely.

Map out Your Self Growth Goals for the Coming Year

It’s amazing how many of us go through life on autopilot. When you don’t know what you specifically want from your life or which direction to go, you are probably just spinning your wheels and remaining stationary. If you want to progress and move forward, making a plan is crucial. A map known as a personal development plan can help you to organize your thoughts, view your strengths, clarify your desires and set goals to achieve them. Putting your thoughts and wishes into a formal plan and writing them out is an amazingly effective way of getting what you want. Use the following strategies to map out your self-growth goals for the coming year and watch your life begin to move on track. (Goal-setting is, of course, always a favorite topic of mine and if you’re looking for a quick refresher on how to help define and stay on track with your self-help goals, you can check out my blog series from last year covering the basics of getting started with goal-setting, maintaining motivation, creating accountability, and sticking with the work toward your goals as the year goes on.)    

• Reasons for a Personal Development Plan. Writing a personal development plan just works. It’s definitely worth a try, even if you’re skeptical. Mapping out your goals and desires for life puts things into perspective. It gives you clarity regarding where you want to go within the next year. Starting with a year at a time is a good way to practice this mapping concept. You can later make a five or ten-year plan. As you’re developing your plan, you will begin to focus on the “why” of your goals. Keeping your motivation regularly in mind will push you further when you think about quitting or settling in life. Your personal development plan provides some structure in an uncertain world. You have a map for approaching each day, and you can mark your progress as you go along.
• About a Personal Development Plan. There are lots of different formats out there when it comes to setting up a personal development plan. Your plan should be unique to your lifestyle, needs and goals. You can include whatever you think is most important to focus on for the upcoming year. The goal is to develop a document that you can refer to for guidance as you traverse through your days. Your plan will serve to keep you on track and give you focus.
• What to Include in Your Plan. You can begin by creating a vision or an overview of what you’d like to achieve. This is more like a general mission statement, rather than one that includes specifics. Next, you’ll hone in on the details by writing down your areas of focus. Which parts of your life are most in need of change or do you want to see the greatest change? Write them down, along with what you hope to gain in each segment. List goals in each section. These are the things you wish to attain by year’s end. You can then lay out a tentative schedule for reaching each goal. This may require modification or tweaking as you go along, and that’s okay. You just need a rough guide to start. Basically, your personal development plan should include what you want to gain, why you want to attain these goals and how you plan to make them a reality. The way you structure your plan is entirely up to you.

Now’s the time you get to be creative. Set up your plan in any form you wish. It can be in a digital document or you can grab a journal or notebook to use. The important thing is that your plan resonates with you and is easily accessible for review and progress monitoring. Have fun with it, and enjoy seeing your dreams unfold.

If you need a little support and inspiration to get started on your goal-setting and personal development plan for 2024, I still have a few spots left in my Chart Your Course workshop in-person for my Chicagoland readers on Sunday, January 21st or coming up on January 25th or January 31st via Zoom. (And if you’re interested, but catching this blog post after those January dates have passed, don’t worry–I’ve got more workshops planned throughout the coming year, so stay tuned here or sign up to be notified by e-mail by downloading my free resource here to join my subscriber list.) In the meantime, I’m wishing you all a healthy, productive, and prosperous–however you define “prosperity,” whether it be financial, emotional, spiritual, or some combination of all those things–year ahead in 2024!